OTTAWA – After posing as a fake Canadian Forces soldier, DND and Veterans Affairs have decided the impostor’s punishment should be to endure the poor treatment they inflict on a real Canadian veteran.
“It’s an outrage that this impostor would attempt to portray himself as a sergeant in the RCR in order to obtain the admiration of the public,” said Veterans Affairs Minister Julian Fantino. “Our reaction will be swift. We will cut off any benefits he receives, close any nearby government offices around the area where he lives and implement arbitrary red tape so his spouse can’t receive his future pension.”
“This man clearly had some sort of mental illness, so we should cut off any treatment that he receives too,” Fantino added. “But, he should keep the uniform just in case there’s a photo op.”
At press time, thousands of War of 1812 historical re-enactors were lining up to accept your solemn thanks and good wishes.
