VANCOUVER – A recent, municipal census regarding what shade of Beige citizens prefer for the Town Hall lobby, revealed that people are fed up with answering vexatious questionnaires.
Deputy Chief Survey Administrator Western Branch, David Craigson confirmed that new figures indicated that his department’s approval rating has declined exponentially from 89% in April, to 13% in April.
“We suspected something was awry when over 72% of our surveys came back blank, littered with curse words, or containing doodles of gentialia,” explained Craigson. “We hope our next survey asking citizens to rank their favourite reproductive organs to draw on surveys will provide more responsive answers.”
Further research on previous civic polls such as “what is your favourite temperature of water”, affirmed the top answers to be: “Eat a dick,” “Get a real job,” and actual photos of a man’s asshole.
“Look, I’d love to inform people about my favourite wireless devices,” stated average joe, Joe Cooper, “but I’m just a tad busy slaving at the office, paying off my mortgage, and changing my kids diaper. Besides I’d much rather go online and discover which Firefly character I’d be, and then which type of tree that character would be.”
At press time, frustrated survey administrators sent out a quiz asking citizens whether they “are ungrateful little fuckbags: agree, agree, or strongly agree.”
