TORONTO – Reports from those seated around her have confirmed that the women on the subway who all assumed to have been sleeping, is in fact dead, and has been for some time.
“I first started to suspect something when we came to a sudden stop at Museum and her head just kind of fell loosely forward, as if there was no longer any fluid in her spinal cord,” said Ryan Clark, who was seated directly across from the now deceased commuter.
“But even still I just assumed she had fallen into the kind of deep sleep that only the 8:45 a.m. Yonge University line ride can provide,” he added.
The cause of death remained unknown, although a number of the witnesses speculated it may have been a seizure brought on by the “ding ding dong” sound of the doors closing, asphyxiation from the body odour of her fellow passengers, or a rare fungus she picked up when she touched the pole with her bare skin one time.
“It also could have just been like a heart attack or something,” said one witness.
One witness was particularly devastated by the passing. Alex Hotz, 32, was a regular on the train.
“I saw her on way to and from work every day and just assumed we had similar schedules. I loved watching her sleep, it was so peaceful. I was just about to work up the nerve to go over and talk to her when I noticed the maggot coming out of her ear canal.”
At press time, everyone on the subway had agreed that, despite the death, they should not pull the passenger assistance alarm until after rush hour had ended.
