Employee improves net earnings by using less effort per hour - The Beaverton

Employee improves net earnings by using less effort per hour

KING CITY, ON – With the likelihood of an increase in minimum wage diminishing with each passing increase in the cost of living, one man is bucking this trend by working less to increase his per hourly worth.

Jonathan Mangleburger, a 26 year-old employee, is giving himself a raise this week by making fewer coffees per hour, catapulting his pay into the realm of close-to-middle-management levels at the bakery chain.

“With a proximal decrease in productivity, say 2.2% per hour,” Mangleburger explains, “along with a corresponding stagnation in remuneration over the same period, by my reckoning gives me a 22 cent increase per hour functionally providing the net value of a modest raise.”

Tim Hortons has publicly stated that all of its employees are working the same efficiency levels as before, and any and all mistakes, slowdowns, or poor customer service are simply standard operating procedure.