OTTAWA – With millions across America taking part in today’s planned “No Kings” protest, Canadians have signalled their willingness to lend support – though emphasiz…
Tag: Trump
World agrees to make up awards for Donald Trump to win every time he stops a war
“The annual Awesome Guy With Big Dick And Normal Hair Award goes to…Donald Trump!” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood, Nile Seguin and Craig Fay) discuss the reasons to be opti…
Pentagon warns Toronto ‘dangerously close’ to winning World Series
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following last night’s elimination of the New York Yankees, the United States Department of War has advised the White House that the Toronto Blue Jays are “per…
Ottawa residents plan 12 month ‘fireworks and honking’ festival outside Freedom Convoy Leaders’ homes
“The fact that our festival runs the exact same length of time as their house arrest sentence is mere coincidence, we assure you.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Megan MacKay and …
Entire Trump Gaza Plan just QR code linking to Nobel Peace Prize nomination site
WASHINGTON D.C. – With representatives of the Israeli government, as well as Hamas, meeting to discuss a potential U.S.-brokered peace, delegates have reportedly been surprised to find that…
Trump’s Hollywood tariffs force Dune 3 to shoot in Mississippi
Jackson, Arrakis – President Donald Trump’s proposed tariffs on movies filmed in other countries has forced Dune producers to relocate to Jackson, Mississippi. “It doesn’t quite match the d…
Trump says Ukraine can have all its occupied territory back if it beats Putin’s offer
NEW YORK CITY – In a private meeting with Ukrainian President Volodymr Zelenskyy, US President Donald Trump stated he fully believes the embattled nation can take back all of its territory …
Return of Jimmy Kimmel Show cheered by frazzled parents who white knuckled it through a weekend without Disney+
BURBANK, CA – The Walt Disney Company has announced late night host Jimmy Kimmel will return to ABC, a move cheered by free speech advocates and even more so by exhausted parents who cancel…
US Ambassador threatens to tariff, annex, and bomb Canada if anti-American sentiment doesn’t improve
OTTAWA – U.S. Ambassador Pete Hoekstra has vowed to improve anti-American sentiment he sees in Canada, no matter how many illegal tariffs, forced annexations, or literal bombs it takes to d…
Pundits predict Trump’s “Thank you for being my pedophile friend” letter will hurt Democrats somehow
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After journalists revealed that President Trump wrote a birthday message to notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein reading, “I sure enjoyed the sex crimes you did, fellow sex c…
