WINNIPEG – After two weeks of competition, Pete Franklin is completely unaware if the Winter Olympic Games have just kicked off or finished days ago. “I heard that the opening and/or closing cere…
Tag: Sochi
World’s nations ask if it’s too late to boycott Sochi Olympics
WASHINGTON – In response to increased Russian support of Ukrainian rebels, a coalition of world powers have announced that they will inquire whether it is too late to boycott the Sochi Winter Oly…
Terrorists very disappointed with Olympic performance
The terrorists sent to Sochi from the northern Caucasus region of Russia, who want to establish an Islamic theocratic rule over their territory, apologized today for their lackluster performance …
Man who doesn’t care about sports heroically boycotts Sochi Olympics
VICTORIA, B.C. – Striking a self-sacrificing blow for international gay rights, local non-sports fan Jamie Donaldson has been refusing to watch the Sochi Olympics. “It’s been really difficu…
International Olympic Committee admits there are no real rules to Curling
SOCHI – A controversial call during a recent match has revealed that nobody in the world actually knows what is up with Curling. What began as a simple inquiry about whether or not “offside” was …
Nation responds to Ellen Page coming out as gay: ‘Okay, cool’
OTTAWA – After learning the news that Canadian actress Ellen Page, best known for her role in Juno, is gay, the nation agreed that it was ‘good’. “I didn’t know she was gay but now I do,” H…
Russian Olympic security apologizes in advance for Sidney Crosby’s concussion
SOCHI, RUSSIA – Sources inside the Russian security ministry are sending their deepest apologies to the Canadian Men’s Olympic Hockey team for the upcoming concussion soon-to-be sustained b…
Putin vows to finish Sochi Olympic facilities in time for next Sochi Olympics
SOCHI, Russia — Amid complaints from international media that much of the Sochi olympic facilities are still under construction and the hotel accommodations essentially unlivable, Russian P…