KITCHENER — Local man Richard Stephens, having only recently begun a new relationship after several years of being single, has already found himself mired in the depths of the hackneyed, overly r…
Tag: relationships
5 ways to write-off last year’s failed relationships on your taxes
From the first, lust-filled round of craft beer to the eighth break-up bottle of scotch, the arc of your failed 2016 relationships is perfectly documented on the credit card statements you need t…
Local woman smashes 39 wine glasses on faucet while washing dishes
MONTREAL — It was a scene of total carnage on Friday night after local woman Natasha Campbell shattered 39 wine glasses in a row on the faucet while attempting to wash them carefully. The s…
Breaking: Dave starts 4th attempt at moustache
WINNIPEG – Multiple eyewitnesses have reported that Dave is trying to grow a moustache again. Although initial reports were mixed upon further inspection of photographic evidence, experts a…
Local woman devastated by news that ex-boyfriend still alive, happy
WINNIPEG – Local woman Anna Saab was devastated to learn Thursday that her ex-boyfriend, Antoine Girard, was found alive, still residing in her town, and happy. The former couple ended thei…
Winter boyfriends released back into the wild
DAWSON, YT — With the arrival of spring in Canada’s North, males nesting with females are cast off into the unknown dating environment in a seasonal phenomenon known as the “Spr…
Date going pretty well, thinks man with laser sight trained on his center of mass
VANCOUVER – After twenty minutes of interesting and flirtatious conversation, local man Andrew Chen believes his date to be going pretty well, unaware of the fact that a red dot has been ho…
Empty shampoo bottle enters third month in shower
ABBOTSFORD, BC – Despite being void of any shampoo for the past 90 days, a 1.17 L bottle of TRESemmé shampoo still remains in a local man’s shower. The owner, Eric Mannix, has ignored pleas…
Fat guy, plus-sized woman walk through park holding hands
TORONTO – Observers at a local park yesterday watched as a really fat man walked holding hands with a curvaceous woman. “They were possibly a couple,” said one witness of the balding, overw…
Husband absent mindedly says words that will be thrown in his face for rest of life
MEDICINE HAT, AB – In between scrolling through Netflix and checking texts on his phone local man Garry Wood, 32, has casually uttered the seemingly random sequence of words that his wife, …
