OTTAWA – Reports from homes across the nation have indicated that they’ve hurt their back shovelling snow once again. “God dammit, my fucking back,” said Keith, David, Ste…
Tag: injury
NHL vows to protect players’ elbows from spate of vicious headbutts
TORONTO – The NHL has moved to drastically reduce the ongoing plague of league-wide elbow injuries via headbutts by reckless players. Despite growing awareness of the damage done to players…
Study finds cycling healthiest way to get hit by a car
MONTREAL – Confirming the widely-held belief popular amongst people who commute by bicycle, a new study has found that cycling is by far the healthiest way to get hit by a car and laid out …
BREAKING: Whoever getting on elevator at 2nd floor better be on fucking crutches
EDMONTON – Slowing down just a bit too early to already be at the ground floor, sources inside a local apartment building elevator report this morning that the person who called the elevato…