“I’m just saying: he wouldn’t even make the league today.” Luke and the Panel (Clare Blackwood and Ian MacIntyre) are joined by Edmonton’s own Henry Sir (Current Eve…
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Serial killer’s cat insists on lying right across the warm corpse he’s working on
CALGARY – Once again, the murderous work of the serial killer known as the Marlborough Mauler has been interrupted by his 4-year-old house cat, Ruffles. “Aw, jeez, Ruffles, not there,” the Mauler…
Canada chooses lawful evil over chaotic evil
“We looked around for a neutral evil country to trade with, but couldn’t find one.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) talk about the horrific I…
Barbershop customer a little worried after seeing huge chunk of ear hit floor
CALGARY – According to sources embedded in downtown barbershop Close Shave, Dennis Elrich is worried his cut hasn’t gone as planned after he spotted a big, sloppy chunk of his right ear hit the f…
Alberta organizes banned book buyback to keep streets safe
EDMONTON – As part of Alberta’s efforts to prevent minors from viewing books with sexual content, the province has announced a buyback of all restricted and challenging literature. “From A Handm…
Local man hears himself say “At least Bush had the decency to lie about his Oil Wars.”
“Say what you want about Bush-Cheney, but they put some effort into tricking us.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre, Clare Blackwood and Nile Seguin) dive into the chaos and confusion…
Chaperone at Satanist school dance reminds students to leave space for Lucifer
VANCOUVER – Students attending the Unholiday Dance at Our Lady of Infernal Evil’s Satanist School have just been reminded by a volunteer chaperone to “Leave space for Lucifer” while slow da…
Maximise your RRSP contribution by distracting your banker and then changing a bunch of numbers on their computer
TORONTO – As another tax season approaches, financial experts suggest that the best way to prepare for retirement is to sneak a bunch of new numbers into your bank’s database and hope for the bes…
American media’s cowardice no match for Canadian media’s incompetence
TORONTO – As CBS News under Bari Weiss leads the charge of American media kowtowing to the Trump administration by deleting a story about the torture of migrants, there is one thing they di…
Carney asks Santa for majority government, some scratch-offs
“Also a nice pair of socks.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Clare Blackwood) talk the Liberals’ scheme to get Conservative MPs to cross floor, Poilievre’s disastrou…
