VICTORIA, BC – Following Alberta Premier Danielle Smith’s continued threats about separating from the rest of Canada, local climate change scientist Debra Grimmlet is having a hard ti…
Tag: environment
Ontario snowbirds now spending winters in Toronto, summers in Iqaluit
IQALUIT – For many years, it has been common practice for Canadian senior citizens to travel south over the winter, seeking warmer climates, limited contact with anyone born after 1956, and…
“WTF is happening today?” wonder drivers as white stuff falls from sky
WINDSOR, ON – In a baffling series of events, drivers in Southwestern Ontario are wondering “WTF is happening today?” as white stuff falls from the skies. The day started as a typical grey …
How to protect yourself from the pollutants in wildfire smoke
Smoke from fires in Ontario, Quebec and Alberta has made their way into cities, where residents are reporting a campfire smell and hazy quality to the atmosphere. Unfortunately this haze carries …
Local man totally enthusiastic about using new paper straw until about ¾ of the way through his drink
KITCHENER – Local carpenter and casual environmentalist Kai Ambrose has announced he’s really excited about using a disposable, paper straw for his recently purchased soft drink, blissfully unawa…
Canadian Gangsters finding it difficult to suffocate people with reusable bag
OTTAWA – With single-use plastic bags becoming harder to come by in Canada many of the nation’s mafioso, made men, and goons report that reusable bags are not as practical at asphyxia…
Breaking: Some sort of entirely futile climate conference happening again
A LARGE CITY WE DIDN’T BOTHER TO LOOK UP ― World leaders are once again convening to draw up a set of ambitious promises they definitely won’t fulfill, toothless goals which wouldn’t do much anyw…
Ocean bird choking on plastic straw still agrees paper straws are the worst
VANCOUVER – In a rare interview, a sea bird floating off the pacific coast of British Columbia has confirmed that, although it is currently struggling to breathe around plastic straw wedged…
BC gov’t vows old-growth forests will be protected, varnished
VICTORIA – In honour of Earth Day, the BC Government has reaffirmed its commitment to protect the province’s remaining ancient, old-growth forests using a number of varnishes, stains, or se…
