PARENT’S BASEMENT, AB – Local Star Wars fanatic Jake Martin has come to the conclusion that Star Wars is the best franchise he has ever hated with all his heart. “By far the greatest …
Tag: Disney
Disney World employee just now realizing he forgot to put food down for Goofy before he locked up
ORLANDO, FL – A Disney World employee is in hot water after realizing he locked up for quarantine without leaving food down for Goofy. “Bob (Chapek, fmr. Director of Disney Parks) had creat…
Netflix password-sharing crackdown reveals just one paid subscriber
LOS GATOS, CA -– Following a new policy designed to strictly limit account-sharing among multiple users, Netflix has discovered that it has always just been one subscriber. The lone paying custom…
Millennial Christmas party evacuated as guests run out of TV shows to talk about
TORONTO — Guests at a holiday party hosted by millennial couple Elaine Royce and Andray Parker were evacuated by first responders as their guests realized they had run out of TV series to m…
Jason Kenney’s war room unveils new, one-of-a-kind logo
EDMONTON – After being caught plagiarizing a US tech company’s logo for his government’s Canadian Energy Centre, Alberta Premier Jason Kenney has unveiled a new, unique logo. “It’s called t…
Film Review: Dumbo a surprisingly delightful adaptation of The Elephant Man
Finally Hollywood has released a film that both children and adults can relate to. Dumbo, a lighthearted retooling of the 1980 historical drama The Elephant Man, is the time-worn tale of a plucky…
Disney executives pleased to announce acquisition of PornHub
MONTREAL – Expanding their media streaming portfolio, Disney executives announced Tuesday that the company has acquired Canadian adult entertainment site, Pornhub. The entertainment behemot…
Disney in negotiations to purchase false sense of ownership from Star Wars fans
BURBANK, CA – After a period of protest Disney is moving to consolidate its ownership of Star Wars from a group of aggrieved not-actually-shareholders. “When we purchased Star Wars fr…
Disneyland creates immersive fairytale experience by turning workers into feudal serfs
Anaheim, CA – Taking the lead in the new immersive entertainment trend, Disneyland has begun treating their workers like peasants to provide park goers with an authentic feudal experience t…
Last original film remade
LOS ANGELES – With the release of Arrival of a Train at a Station (2018), a remake of the Lumière Brothers’ record-breakingly successful film Arrival of a Train at La Ciotat (1896), the las…