OTTAWA — On advice from Minister of Finance Chrystia Freeland to cut wasteful spending such as their Disney+ subscriptions, thousands of struggling Canadian families were finally able to scrounge…
Tag: Disney
New Star Wars series to explore backstory of the Mos Eisley cantina band
LOS ANGELES — An iconic part of Star Wars lore is finally getting its day in the sweltering sun. The Mos Eisley cantina band, comprising seven Bith who love jizz, is getting its own Disney+ serie…
Touching: This Hollywood movie defies the stereotypes that Hollywood helped set
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Walt Disney Pictures has announced their latest project, The Bear Minimum, an animated coming-of-age movie that breaks the stereotypes they spent years reinforcing because i…
New Pixar movie details fantastical story of being able to afford living in Toronto
TORONTO – Pixar Studios’ latest animated adventure, Turning Red, details the whimsical and outlandish story of a family who are able to afford a house in the downtown Toronto core. Turning …
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade ends in horror when robe of Baby Yoda balloon falls open, revealing massive genitalia
NEW YORK CITY – Cheers turned to screams today at Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade when a robe malfunction resulted in the Baby Yoda balloon exposing his no-longer-private parts to thousands …
Disney adult admits she would definitely fuck Goofy if given the chance
OSHAWA, ON – Kacey Corbett, a 33-year-old mother of two, recently admitted to a group of her peers, as well as to her family, she would fuck the Disney character Goofy if given the opportun…
Local man gets sexy little tingle from pointing out shots that were in trailer but not movie
VAUGHAN, ON – Local accountant Shawn Kronbach recently revealed that he feels a sexy spine tingle every time he tells someone about shots that were in the film trailer but not in the film i…
Disney announces new Pocahontas movie exploring tragic, sympathetic backstory of white Christian imperialism
LOS ANGELES – Following the success of their hit movies MALEFICENT and CRUELLA, Disney have announced that it plans to continue the trend of movies that humanize and sympathize with famous …
Star Wars fans excited about new series starring Gleep Glorp, or whoever the fuck
BURBANK, CA – Yesterday, the Walt Disney Company announced 10 new Star Wars TV series starring beloved characters like Dorfus Kent, Ultra Moff Charlie, and Fudge Offal, or some nonsense like that…
Disney World Darth Vader actually having trouble breathing
ORLANDO, FL – Numerous Disney World customers were annoyed after one of the actors playing Darth Vader actually had trouble breathing due to contracting corona-virus from park patrons. “It …