WASHINGTON D.C. – In a joint statement, U.S. House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries and current U.S. Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer made clear their position that just-convicted rapist…
Tag: Democrats
Canadians had no idea we were this good at meddling
WASHINGTON D.C. – In the most successful midterm election since 1974 Democrats have retaken control of the House and Senate thanks, primarily, to Canadian meddling. “Sure we started a…
Giddy Chuck Schumer already preparing excuses for letting Trump still get away with everything
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following Tuesday’s “Blue Wave” midterm elections, Senator Chuck Schumer is reportedly already hard at work on a long list of reasons why President Trump can …
Report: Canada still isn’t taking you back
CANADA — After a Democratic blue wave swept the U.S. midterms tonight, and Democrats took back both the House and the Senate from the Republican party, Canada wishes to gently, yet firmly, let al…
Detailed analysis of U.S. Midterms provided by man who forgot to vote in last Canadian election
Guelph, ON – Local man Mark Nellis, who “totally meant” to vote in the last Canadian election but forgot, is currently providing a thoughtful and considerate analysis of Tuesday…
House Democrats ask if Canada could step in to fight authoritarianism for them
WASHINGTON D.C. – As the Trump administration consolidates its anti-democratic control over America, Congressional and Senate Democrats have united to ask the nation of Canada if they could…
The Beaverton will tell Doug Ford a tunnel under the 401 is the dumbest idea of all time for just 8.5 million
“We’re willing to negotiate down to 8.2.” Luke and the Panel (Ian MacIntyre and Nile Seguin) delight in the chaos consuming the Conservative Party, wonder why the Democrats are …
Pundits predict Trump’s “Thank you for being my pedophile friend” letter will hurt Democrats somehow
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After journalists revealed that President Trump wrote a birthday message to notorious sex offender Jeffrey Epstein reading, “I sure enjoyed the sex crimes you did, fellow sex c…
5 ways Democrats can win the next election, all of which involve throwing Trans people under the bus for some reason
With Democrats reeling from the magnitude of Donald Trump’s victory, analysts and party insiders are coming out with plans for how the party can recover in time for the 2026 midterms and th…
“Democrats better get their shit together before the 2028 election,” says adorable friend who thinks there’s going to be a 2028 election
Kincardine, ON – Local man Allan Terry has expressed his belief that the Democrats need to improve their messaging and policy efforts if they want to win the next Presidential election, cha…
