OTTAWA – Cyclists across the country expressed their deepest apologies today after learning that they weren’t actually allowed to run every red light and stop sign they come across. &…
Tag: BMW
Driver causing 15 minute traffic delay by parking in middle of road put flashers on so it’s totally fine
TORONTO – Drivers stuck behind a car that inexplicably stopped in the middle of the road on a street with only 1 lane in each direction were about to be very mad until they saw that the off…
BMW, Tesla remain deadlocked in battle for rich asshole market
L.A. – Consumer reports indicate that BMW and Tesla are still the top vehicle choices for wealthy pieces of shit. “BMW has historically dominated the trust fund douchebag demographic,” said…
Calgary airport tows away passenger in wheelchair for waiting in Lexus-only boarding area
CALGARY – The Calgary Airport Authority has towed away an 87-year-old passenger in a wheelchair for placing himself in the Lexus owners-only boarding area while waiting for a flight to Toro…
Toronto driver sees each day as opportunity to shout at someone new
TORONTO – BMW driver Troy Landau says he has discovered the secret to a long life, viewing each day as a gift in which he has the chance to scream profanities at somebody he has never screa…
Memorial service for deceased BMW driver held in bike lane
TORONTO – Following his tragic accident last week, this morning a memorial service was held for deceased BMW driver Cole Richards in the middle of a busy bike lane in Toronto. “I can’t beli…
Income splitting to help struggling wealthy family buy another BMW
RICHMOND HILL – The Harper government’s plan to permit married couples with children to split their earnings for a higher tax savings will help a disadvantaged family struggling to buy anot…