OTTAWA – After the publication of a Truth and Reconciliation commission report calling the Residential Schools a cultural genocide, Prime Minister Harper has sent an apologetic email to Canada’s...
Nation just trying to keep Uncle Dave off the topic of Caitlyn Jenner
NATIONWIDE – With Caitlyn Jenner’s courageous gender transition making worldwide headlines, the nation is just desperately trying to keep Uncle Dave from sharing his opinions on the issue with a...
Parizeau wins sovereignty from his corporeal form
MONTREAL – Former Quebec premier Jacques Parizeau, who nearly lead the province to sovereignty in 1995, won his lifelong battle for independence from his body this week. He was 84. In a statemen...
York Regional Police claim black bear shot on lawn was reaching for officer’s firearm
Newmarket, ON — On Monday, an unarmed male black bear roaming through Newmarket backyards was shot dead after police claimed the bear made a distinct motion for a responding officer’s gun. “It’s...
Courtroom stenographer actually writing stenographer fan-fiction
OTTAWA – A recent analysis of transcripts has revealed that stenographer Maggie Peck has actually been working on a work of fiction about the sensual life of a courtroom stenographer. “I started...
Landlord definitely knew about single, giant bedbug before you signed
TORONTO – Despite his claims to the contrary, sources confirm there’s ‘literally no way’ your new landlord didn’t know about the four-foot bedbug living in the second bedroom. “I no know about b...
Subway busker plays YouTube video of better busker for spare change
MONTREAL — A busker operating outside of Beaudry station has taken to playing YouTube videos of better buskers for money. “I play all the hits,” said the busker, Seb Trudel-Gendron. ...
Marvel announces film schedule through 43rd century AD
LOS ANGELES – Shortly after announcing a schedule of their upcoming films until 2019, Marvel Studios has released a new schedule, this one with every film planned for the next 41 centuries. “Cap...
9 other things that are ‘Just Not Ready’ according to the Conservative attack ads
1. These Bananas Source: http://www.public-domain-image.com These bananas are sadly still too dependent on that tree. Just Not Ready. 2. This Child, Considered For A Job As An Astronaut Source: http...
