WASHINGTON – Comedy experts have been placed on red alert following the surprise candidacy announcement of Donald Trump, upon whom America depleted its entire stockpile of Trump-related jokes, s...
Everyone at Entourage screening pretending they walked into wrong theater
KINGSTON – A 7pm showing of the Entourage film at a multiplex theatre in Ontario was attended exclusively by filmgoers who claimed to be there by accident. “Wait, this is the Entourage movie?” s...
Report: Canadian General biologically wired to ignore sexual assault
OTTAWA – Chief of Defence Staff General Tom Lawson has a reportedly innate desire to overlook and dismiss the sexual assault and harassment within the Canadian Armed Forces. “It’s not my fault; ...
Cosmopolitan magazine publishes last-known sex tip
NEW YORK CITY — Last week, the popular women’s magazine Cosmopolitan finally exhausted the world’s known collection of sex tips. Since the late 60s, Cosmo has published a list of sex...
Aboriginal tribe using new immigration law to deport all white people
OTTAWA – Following the passage of bill C-24, the Strengthening Canadian Citizenship Act, which gives the government powers to revoke citizenship and deport recent immigrants who have been convic...
Bill Blair wins Liberal candidacy after kettling nomination meeting
TORONTO – Former Toronto police chief Bill Blair has won the Liberal Party nomination in the riding of Scarborough Southwest after kettling the nomination meeting. Saying that it was the most hu...
Wynne promises sale of Hydro One won’t cause problems until she’s out of office
TORONTO – Coming on the heels of criticism of her government’s proposed sale of 60 percent of Hydro One, Premier Wynne has reassured the province it is a move that will only cause trouble ‘after...
‘Female Viagra’ lets women with sexual dysfunction add fainting, nausea, dizziness to symptoms
RALEIGH, NC – This past week flibanserin or “female Viagra” was approved by the FDA, allowing women nationwide to combat low sex-drive while only suffering from of a long list of incapacitating ...
Pan Am Games rebrands as ‘World Cup’ to boost interest
TORONTO—Just two weeks before the opening of the 2015 Pan American games in Toronto, organizers have unveiled a new marketing strategy designed to generate greater interest in the games by re-naming t...
Toronto island airport tunnel to be finished for Lima Pan Am Games
TORONTO – As the 2015 Pan American Games approach, workers and officials are confident that construction of the tunnel leading to the Toronto island airport will be finished on schedule for the ...
