VANCOUVER – After working from home for the past year, local research assistant Sara Burton announced the results of her independent study confirming once and for all that bed is now office…
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Uber lobbies provincial governments to classify its drivers as livestock
VICTORIA – Uber Technologies Inc. is petitioning provincial governments to enact regulatory changes to allow Uber and other companies to provide gig workers with all the benefits and safety…
Inflatable tube man wonders if there is more to life than insane car prices
HAMILTON – The inflatable tube man positioned outside Dave’s Used Car Lot is starting to wonder if there is more to life than insane car prices. The air dancer – nicknamed Windy Pete …
New Zoom filter adds pants, will to live
SAN JOSE, CA – Videoconferencing giant Zoom has announced a line of visual filters for the hot new market of customers who show up to meetings wondering what’s even the point anymore. The n…
Group interview takes turn when interviewer places single knife on table
BARRIE, ON – Amanda Torres remembers thinking her group interview for a position at Jenny’s Diner was going well – until her interviewer pulled a carving knife out of her bag. “The ma…
Fear of failure completely justified
LONDON, ON – A recent study from Western University has determined that your fear of failure is completely justified. The study – lead by esteemed Sociology Professor John Daniels and…
Julie Payette: I’m so sorry that my staffers are all a bunch of pussies
OTTAWA – Following news accounts of a scathing independent report into her workplace behaviour, Julie Payette resigned yesterday as Canada’s Governor General and released a public resignati…
Your racist boss leads session on diversity in the workplace
YOUR TOWN, CANADA – Today, your boss, who is best known for making racist jokes and getting the names of your Black colleagues confused, will be holding a session on diversity and inclusion. “HR …
Report: Best way to discover embarrassing errors in company email is to click “send”
VANCOUVER – According to a new study conducted by researchers at the University of British Columbia, the most effective way for employees to uncover horrifying typos in important company-wide ema…
Tired office workers can’t wait to attend mandatory Zoom session on Zoom fatigue
AUGUSTA, ME – Exhausted employees at the Department of Health and Human Services couldn’t be more thrilled about their upcoming compulsory Zoom session on Zoom fatigue. “I am so excited!!!” screa…