TORONTO – After performing an in-house audit and hiring several third party firms to a total cost of over $683 million, the City of Toronto has determined it is too expensive to continue an…
Toronto
Hazel McCallion to retire due to Golden Girls marathon
MISSISSAUGA – Long time Mayor of Mississauga Hazel McCallion has recently announced that, after 30 years of sitting the mayoral seat, she’s ready to hang up her sash. According to Mccallion…
Toronto police release Bill Blair after ten years in custody
TORONTO – After being remanded for a reason that still has not been disclosed, Bill Blair was finally released by Toronto police after being unlawfully detained for over 10 years. “It’s bee…
‘No shark in Lake Ontario’, shark says
KINGSTON, ON – A YouTube video posted last Friday claiming to show a shark residing in Lake Ontario is a “total hoax,” reports the shark residing in Lake Ontario. “There’s absolutely nothing to w…
Rob Ford’s sobriety coach enters rehab to work on anger issues
TORONTO – Hours after he lashed out and kicked a shirtless protester, Rob Ford’s sobriety coach Bob Marier checked himself into rehab to address his anger management issues and bad press. M…
Porn star degrades herself by running for Toronto mayor
TORONTO – Friends and family of adult film star Nikki Benz find themselves at a loss to explain the actress’ baffling decision to debase herself by running in the upcoming Toronto mayoral electio…
12 overdose at Woofstock
TORONTO – The celebrations at Summer Woofstock, the annual canine festival, ended in several emergency vet visits after 12 dogs were reported to have partied too hard, possibly ingesting il…
Olivia Chow Unveils Transit Plan: 5.2 Million–Seater Tandem Bike
Toronto mayoral candidate Olivia Chow has shaken up the race today by unveiling her official transit plan: a 5.2 million–seater tandem bike designed to accommodate every man, woman, and child in …
Doug Ford blames Autism Youth Home comments on Rob Ford’s alcoholism
TORONTO – After alleging that a youth home helping children cope with autism was “ruining the neighbourhood” City Councillor Doug Ford took full responsibility for his comments today, by bl…
