Canadians celebrate Canada’s 100th Grey Cup victory.…
Sports
CFL Players ask Kick For A Million winner for personal loans
TORONTO – As the CFL approaches the Grey Cup, its premiere event of the year, discouraging reports have indicated that several of the league’s down on their luck players have asked the winner of …
Citing rising allowance costs, Gary Bettman locks his children out of the house
WESTCHESTER, CT – Saying his household could no longer keep up with the dramatic increase in money being paid toward their allowance, embattled NHL commissioner Gary Bettman took the bold s…
Rosie MacLennan ostracized for violating Olympics Canada’s No Gold Medals policy
LONDON – During the closing ceremonies to the London 2012 Olympic games earlier this month, Canada’s Olympic athletes came together to party, pose for group photos and celebrate their…
US men’s basketball team win gold over [placeholder]
LONDON – On [date TBA] the United States basketball “dream team” defeated the [placeholder] team by a score of [placeholder] to 42. Kobe Bryant lead the scoring barrage with an unprecedente…
Leafs decide friendship more important than playoffs anyway
TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs made a public statement today revealing that their friendship had, if anything, been strengthened by the team’s failure to make the playoffs for the …
Vancouver Canucks mascot returned to wild
VANCOUVER – Buckling under mounting pressure from animal rights activists, the Vancouver Canucks released their mascot, Fin the Whale, back into the wild earlier this week. Fin, a lovable k…
Phil Kessel injured after successfully making eye-contact with Dion Phaneuf
TORONTO – A smiling but badly injured Phil Kessel was rushed off the ice during a game last night after he managed to sustain eye-contact with teammate Dion Phaneuf. “We all heard a loud sn…
Man still unfit after training montage
OAKVILLE, ON – Local man Aaron Montague failed to complete a half-marathon last week, despite preparing with an hour-long training montage. “I did everything right,” Montague insisted. “I t…
