EDMONTON – Eight-year-old Mason Wright and seven-year-old Olivia Glass have been busy playing house all afternoon by pretending to have their hearts set on a property, only for Mason’s imaginary …
Real Estate
Canada to ban foreign homebuyers who refuse to set up dummy corporations
OTTAWA – The Federal Government has announced sweeping plans to ban the purchase of Canadian homes by any foreign buyers who don’t feel like bothering to set up a routine dummy corporation.…
Failed artist excited for career in real estate
VANCOUVER – Failed playwright Jacob Jones was gleeful today after passing his real estate exam. While Jones’ ambition to see his work premier on Broadway – or even at a local Fringe F…
Toronto unreal estate agent sells house for 5 kajillion dollars
TORONTO – On another great day for the local imaginary housing market, non-realtor Wendy Phan has sold a lovely 2 and a half story house for 3 kajillion dollars over the asking price. The p…
Affordable Toronto apartment only costs 3/4s of monthly income
TORONTO – Local English teacher Bob Kelly was overwhelmed to find an affordable apartment in Toronto’s west end. The one-bedroom walk-up located in the Parkdale neighborhood will only cost …
Theatre-of-the-mind to be demolished for condominium-of-the-mind
THE HUMAN PSYCHE – Despite numerous fundraisers and letter-writing campaigns held to try and save it, the longstanding theatre-of-the-mind, popularly known as the imagination, is set to close nex…
Childhood home sold to lovely young numbered holding company
BRAMPTON – Local family the Feldmans have recently sold their beloved 2-story bungalow to a charming, newly-incorporated holding company. “Our family made a lot of memories in that home,” e…
Liberals promise to make housing affordable for everyday Canadian millionaires
OTTAWA – The Liberal Party have announced their intent to ban foreign home-ownership for two years, ensuring that Canada’s housing stock will be reserved for everyday Canadians with seven f…
REPORT: Experts warn Canada’s bouncy housing market dangerously overinflated
VANCOUVER – After a record-shattering March, experts are warning that the asset valuation of Canadian bouncy property may be drastically overblown, to the point where many young Canadians w…
‘Over Asking’ portion of Sold Over Asking yard sign real fucking unnecessary
TORONTO – As housing prices continue to skyrocket, many are pointing out that Realtors’ habit of putting the ‘Over Asking’ next to their Sold sign is probably not needed a…