OTTAWA – Shockwaves spread throughout the House this week when staffers realized that the vaguely threatening elf watching their every move was actually the leader of the Opposition in a fe…
Politics
Poilievre asks pretty please if he can take credit for cutting 600 CBC jobs
OTTAWA – In the wake of news that CBC/Radio-Canada will lay off 600 employees nationwide, Opposition Leader Pierre Poilievre has inquired if he can publicly announce that it was his idea an…
Poilievre stops making false claims about terrorism after concerned family member locks Fox News channel
OTTAWA – Following an embarrassing incident in the House of Commons in which a confused Pierre Poilievre began ranting about a terrorist attack in relation to a deadly vehicular accident in…
Local children not at all scared by haunted House of Commons
OTTAWA – The federal government’s attempt to entertain young Halloween visitors fell flat on its face this year, as almost no child has reported being scared by the main attraction: a…
CRTC to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podcast is
OTTAWA – Hot on the heels of Bill C-18’s regulation of news on social media platforms, the CRTC announced a follow-up plan to regulate podcasts as soon as they figure out what a podca…
Greg Fergus immediately cancels all upcoming events honouring former Nazis
OTTAWA – Newly-elected Speaker of the House Greg Fergus has moved quickly to correct the errors made by his predecessor by taking the brave step of immediately canceling all planned events in whi…
House of Commons speaker relieved Japanese veteran who fought against China couldn’t make it
OTTAWA – House of Commons speaker Anthony Rota has expressed his relief that the Japanese veteran, whom he was intending to honour for fighting against China, was unable to appear. “Wow, re…
Anti-LGTBQ “Million March For Children” outnumbered by “Billion March For Not Being Bigots”
OTTAWA – As coordinated protests against LGTBQ2S+ rights in schools take place across Canada, dubbed the “Million March For Children”, these marches are being dwarfed by a large…
Meeting on grocery prices stalls as CEOs send Trudeau to self-serve negotiator
OTTAWA – A meeting convened with Canada’s top grocery CEOs to discuss soaring prices stalled this week, as the executives directed Trudeau to conduct his own discussion with their automated…
Singh announces that he also here
OTTAWA – This week NDP leader Jagmeet Singh called a press conference to announce that he is also a political leader that exists, and presumably has done so for a while. “During this …
