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National
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Toronto
Montreal
Vancouver
North
Campus
University Reviews
Canada Votes 2015
Trudeau hails Biden visit as unique opportunity to bilaterally move the Press off the China story
Liberals assure Canadians they would never lie about something as important as our elections
Last shred of joy taxed 6.3% more
Conservatives explain why we need private healthcare
UPDATE: Gerbil has already surpassed your fitness goals
Parents shocked to discover house they have lived in for twenty years has heating
Report: Red Deer the Boston Pizza of cities
In historic first, Dollarama opens second cash
Following thundersnow storm Toronto calls in army just in case
John Tory’s career inevitably cut short by his raw, unstoppable sexual magnetism
White Guy insists on finding Chinese restaurant with “authentic” General Tso’s Chicken
TTC increases security on streetcars to ensure stabbers paid fare
Montreal rioters concerned COVID rules are destroying small businesses before they can destroy small businesses
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
Montreal halts road construction until everyone can enjoy it again
Half of Osheaga too high to realize festival ended 2 days ago
Vancouver considers buying a second snowplow
Vancouver actor moves to L.A. to improve odds of getting cast in shows that shoot in Vancouver
Vancouver removes tents from Eastside unless they can prove they’re a weed shop
Thousands of Vancouver perverts delight in taking pictures of tree genitalia
Tied Yukon election to be decided by traditional chainsaw throw
Yukon exposed to 2 cases of assholes
Yukon refuses to change clocks back in smug defiance of the will of Demeter
Rest of Canada happy to exchange NWT election results for federal one
York Professor asks for a note from a dictator before agreeing to defer student’s exam
Queen’s students argue their campus outbreak will be way better than Western’s
Gaming the system: Recent 92-year-old university grad gets to die before she pays off her debt
Western University invites David Wooderson from “Dazed and Confused” to speak at convocation
Western University mandate 3 vaccine shots, 15 Jaegermeister shots
Acadia University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Dalhousie University: The Beaverton University Reviews
OCAD University: University Reviews 2014
NDP claim Liberals stole their idea to form majority government
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party
Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
World
World
U.S.
Historical Archives
Harry hopes publicizing struggles will help ordinary people with their own world-famous royal families
Trump sues far-right Brazilian protestors for trademark infringement
Canada to allow international students to work more hours to expedite exploitation
Trudeau keeps running mouth about Putin as if Canada isn’t perfect target for nuclear warning shot
Trump claims he cannot serve time in prison due to bone spurs
Following Speaker victory, Kevin McCarthy confident it will be “smooth sailing from here”
Experts warn a US rail strike could’ve lead to shortage of hobo tall tales
BREAKING: Donald Trump announces whatever it takes to get on TV again
Living History: Grandma exchanged letters with John Diefenbaker where he talks about his “Dief Beef”
Toppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
Village virgin sick of donating blood to every ritual sacrifice
July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation
Sports
Sports
James Reimer can’t wear Pride jersey due to Christianity even though Bible also bans working on sabbath, coughing up 3 goal lead to Bruins in Game 7
“Refs totally favour the Leafs,” says man who has presumably closed eyes, plugged ears anytime Toronto plays
Fantasy Manager who drafted Tage Thompson won’t shut the fuck up about it
Changed O Canada lyrics received with understanding and nuance by nation’s trolls
Business
Business
Bigshot winter market vendor sells over four wooden doodads
Loblaws credits record profits to “raising prices on things humans need to live”
Super Bowl: M&Ms rebrand as S&Ms
Galen Weston liberates No Name brand from shackles of tyrannical price freeze
Culture
Culture
Lifestyle
Health
Opinion
Parenting
Stats
Classifieds
5 Sarah Polley films to watch if you want to honour a great Canadian artist and have your day absolutely fucking ruined
New morning radio crew doesn’t play music or talk, just laughs and laughs and laughs
After big Oscars win, cast and crew of “Everything Everywhere All at Once” admit they found it confusing, too
5 trendy Alberta attractions that are giving parasitic fungus zombie apocalypse vibes
Local dryer really making a meal out of this “Your laundry is done” jingle
How to Live, Laugh, Love when you want to Leave, Laze and Loathe
Breaking: This person has practiced for more than 10,000 hours and still sucks
Modern Renaissance man? This guy is a painter AND a geocentrist
Medical Experts admit there is no cure for hiccups
Hospitals to fight critical staffing shortage by declaring that all PhDs are “that kind of doctor” now
Doug Ford announces 50% of all Ontario surgeries will now be done by his buddy Steve
Report: Middle urinal thirsty
Editorial: My home business is the result of 1% inspiration and 99% denying I’m the victim of a pyramid scheme
“Everything is broken so lets make it worse” vs “Everything is perfect so let’s fix nothing”
Editorial: Where are all the White Fridays?
Editorial: Trudeau could have ended the Freedom Convoy protest in no time if he’d just let them kill him
Editorial: Kids today are overprotected! I died in a fire.
Toddler cannot fucking believe mom is here
Ontario reaches $10 child-care deal after Doug Ford achieves sole objective of no one getting help for a full year
Man raised by wolves unable to explain his tech job to parents
93% of Canadians will never pay off their blood debts
86% of August e-mail traffic just duelling Out-Of-Office messages
2014 Canadian Federal Budget Preview
Most frequent lies found on online dating profiles
Missed Connections: You were the public urinator on Main and 5th
LOTS OF JARS FULL OF APRICOT PITS.
ESSAY WRITERS NEEDED ASAP. BIG MONEY $$$$$.
UNIVERSITY student seeking mannequin to come alive and be my girlfriend.
BeavFeed
Beavfeed
Choice Your Own Adventure
Quiz
Slideshow
Guide To/How To
Conservatives explain why we need private healthcare
QUIZ: Is it a pyramid scheme or just a regular cult?
5 ways to thank your food delivery guy that say “please don’t murder me I don’t want to die alone on Valentine’s Day”
We replaced all our writers with ChatGPT. Here are its first 10 headlines!
You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?
You just lit off a bunch of fireworks before realizing you were in the Art Gallery of Ontario. Can you save the priceless pieces of art?
You magically turned into a bug! Can you live a happy and fulfilling life?
You have a chance to punch a Nazi. Do you take it?
QUIZ: Is it a pyramid scheme or just a regular cult?
Quiz: Which Conservative leadership candidate are you, and why is it Pierre Poilievre you sick fuck?
Quiz: Do you have Omicron? The answer is yes
QUIZ: Is he really into you, or does he just need your love to break his family’s curse?
Conservatives explain why we need private healthcare
Everything you need to know about Pierre Poilievre
Highlights of U.S. Election Day
10 things Doug Ford has already used the notwithstanding clause on
How To Go Vegan…Next Week
Guide To: Edmonton
Guide To: St.John’s
How To Lose Weight
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