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About the Show
National
National
Local
Toronto
Montreal
Vancouver
North
Campus
University Reviews
Canada Votes 2015
Rideau Hall asks bored Governor General if she could scale back her backyard rocket-building program
CBC unveils Kids News believing children should be cynical, jaded too
Scheer claims ‘People’s Party’ discriminatory to marionettes like himself
New Brunswick election update: New Brunswick appears to be having an election
BREAKING: Baby not done pooping
Smugly telling grocery store cashier that he brought his own bags clearly making local man’s day
Weird cousin performs two hours of knife tricks at family gathering
Workplace round of Happy Birthday reveals no one sure of coworker’s name
Doug Ford insists he has always been a huge fan of unelected, activist judges
Doug Ford’s Midnight Society introduces only the most horrifying legislation
Toronto City Councillors mark judge’s ruling with celebratory squabble
Top 5 CNE attractions they paid us to write about so you’ll ignore their labour dispute
Third year McGill student hopes to visit Montreal someday
Producers of SLĀV cancel show to concentrate on new revue of songs of oppressed white people
Montreal’s retired Old Port carriage horses relocated to Calgary Stampede chuck wagon races
Twelve Montreal sinkholes given heritage status
Citywide diffuser malfunctions blanket Vancouver in endless sandalwood fog
Big city elite retires to their 300 sq foot basement apartment to eat beans
Millionaire condo owner regrets insisting on different entrance for social housing after installation of guillotine
Seth Rogen announced as new smell of Vancouver transit
Dempster Highway to be renamed after bread company’s sponsorship ends
Dawson City River fountain deemed a success
Whitehorse grandfather from 2075 regales grandchildren about surviving with only 2 Starbucks locations
Permanent road to Arctic Ocean means endangered species can hitchhike away from climate change
University-aged Buck-a-Beer connoisseurs taste the subtle hints of intoxication
University anarchist group demands dedicated unsafe space
Campus leftists under fire for refusing to engage in debate with escaped zoo tiger
York University adds year to every program for mandatory “strike internships”
Acadia University: The Beaverton University Reviews
Dalhousie University: The Beaverton University Reviews
OCAD University: University Reviews 2014
Ryerson University: The Beaverton University Reviews
NDP claim Liberals stole their idea to form majority government
Sun newspapers still reporting Harper majority
90-year-old who has never voted proudly casts first ballot for Social Credit party
Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
World
World
U.S.
Historical Archives
UN condemns Canada’s cruel and unusual treatment of mobile phone customers
Nation shares a laugh after remembering what Boris Johnson looks like
Climate wondering how much it has to change before humans notice
Oh no! The Trump baby balloon learned to speak and now it’s calling Theresa May the C-word!
Ex-White House aide wishes he hadn’t recorded over all his Trump tapes
Trump orders FEMA to put all their efforts into cleaning up devastation of Manafort guilty plea
Shocking new book suggests Trump bad
US Walmarts offering back to school savings on bulletproof vests, petitions to Congress, other essentials
July 24th, 1967: French President De Gaulle calls for Quebec to surrender, await for international help for liberation
Portraits of Canadiocity: Martin Luther King Jr
Canadians Learn About Gandhi and Serial Killer Gilles de Rais
September 28, 1972: Paul Henderson’s goal causes World War III
Sports
Sports
Eugene Melnyk figures now is a good time to ask Sens fans for another liver
Induction of Steve Nash into Basketball Hall of Fame inspires Canadians to also come up short of ultimate goal
Nike encourages Americans to buy Colin Kaepernick merchandise to show support/ burn in protest
Tiger Woods still looks tired from all that extramarital sex he was having a few years ago
Business
Business
Public beheading of Ticketmaster execs already sold out
Sir Topham Hatt resigns amid allegations of being “weird with the trains”
Rise in conspiracy theories revealed to be driven by corkboard, string manufacturers
Apathetic makers of children’s cereal slap cartoon character on bag of sugar
Culture
Culture
Lifestyle
Health
Opinion
Parenting
Stats
Classifieds
Comics
Jetsons reboot just family looking at their phones for 22 minutes
White friend just discovered this new show called “Atlanta”
“James Bond can’t be black,” says man who believes Jesus was white
Amazing Race Canada: Only 4 teams left after grueling Mexican drug mule detour
New fitness trend: Making it out of a forest alive
Woman always on vacation in your Instagram feed actually cocaine smuggler
Toronto’s hottest rooftop patio is already at capacity, sorry
Sixth in line to meaningless figurehead role marries fourth lead in middling legal dramedy
Yoga instructor who just finished two-week course excited to damage people’s spines
Study: sitting is the new smoking, and lying down is the new getting addicted to heroin
Local woman runs at night because her greatest motivator is fear
Pfizer says EpiPen shortage will not affect critical supply of Viagra
OPINION: I am part of the Resistance inside the Galactic Empire
These Environment Canada warnings are just trying to scare people – we all know tornadoes don’t exist
When watching football, how am I supposed to explain to my son what a Seahawk is?
How dare Trudeau attack this hardworking Canadian heckler who we shouldn’t ask any further questions about
BREAKING: Baby not done pooping
Son finds dad’s stash of old hardcore police chase videos
4th layer of sunscreen slathered onto child wearing hat, sunglasses and welder’s mask
Pregnant friend apparently first woman to ever be fucking pregnant
86% of August e-mail traffic just duelling Out-Of-Office messages
2014 Canadian Federal Budget Preview
Most frequent lies found on online dating profiles
What are you dressing up as for Halloween?
LOTS OF JARS FULL OF APRICOT PITS.
ESSAY WRITERS NEEDED ASAP. BIG MONEY $$$$$.
UNIVERSITY student seeking mannequin to come alive and be my girlfriend.
Bob the Angry Flower: Press This
Bob the Angry Flower: Revolt
Bob the Angry Flower: Rhetorical
Bob the Angry Flower: Bank Job
BeavFeed
Beavfeed
Choice Your Own Adventure
Quiz
Slideshow
Guide To/How To
5 books to hold on your commute while you think about quitting your job
Travel Tips from someone who went to Europe seven years ago
7 US Presidents throughout history and the Nintendo characters their penises resemble
QUIZ: Will your child be an NHL star or are you too poor to afford thousands in upfront costs?
You’re Jason Kenney. Can you find an excuse to get out of going to Calgary Pride?
You just lit off a bunch of fireworks before realizing you were in the Art Gallery of Ontario. Can you save the priceless pieces of art?
You magically turned into a bug! Can you live a happy and fulfilling life?
You have a chance to punch a Nazi. Do you take it?
QUIZ: Will your child be an NHL star or are you too poor to afford thousands in upfront costs?
Quiz: Do you know more about the ongoing civil war in Yemen or the moderately successful sitcom New Girl?
Quiz: Should you go Camping, Glamping, or Jamping, a term I just made up and will gradually define over the quiz?
QUIZ: Will this quiz tell you what you want to hear about yourself or will you need to take it again?
10 things Doug Ford has already used the notwithstanding clause on
6 rugs that are actually just clothes you left on the floor
5 effortless pottery overalls worn by calmer women than you
These 5 people now live in P.E.I. because they couldn’t pay the $47 Confederation Bridge toll
How To Go Vegan…Next Week
Guide To: Edmonton
Guide To: St.John’s
How To Lose Weight
Video
Videos
Full Episodes
Canada geese crossing highway fully aware of traffic jam they’re causing
Realistic pharmaceutical commercial
Parliament Security ask NDP leader Jagmeet Singh to stop putting reserved signs on chairs in the public gallery
Conservatives find a new use for the barbaric practice of conversion therapy: converting gay men to conservative party voters.
Watch: Season 2, Episode 13
Watch: Season 2, Episode 12
Podcast
The Beaverton Weekly Report
Sexual predators about to be most represented minority group on U.S. Supreme Court
‘Doug is doing the right thing’ says man who would lose his shit if Trudeau invoked the Notwithstanding Clause
Brave Senator who endorsed, voted for Trump praised for running away from situation he created as fast as possible
Liberals announce plan to just let every Canadian choose their own tax rate
The Book
Walking Tours
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