WASHINGTON D.C. – After facing cancellations from numerous d-list musicians, organizers of the Trump-aligned Freedom 250 Celebration have reportedly also seen withdrawals from similarly obs…
Culture
Boomer Dad loses Asian restaurant privileges
BARRIE, ON – After decades of refusal to comply with his family’s requests, local dad, Chris White, 77, has finally lost his Asian restaurant privileges. The decision was finalized after an argum…
Armageddon 2: Asteroid saves Earth from U.S. in Michael Bay sequel
LOS ANGELES – Twenty-eight years after Bruce Willis and a ragtag crew of oil drillers saved humanity from cosmic annihilation, Hollywood is finally answering the question nobody asked: Wha…
BREAKING: This nepo baby sure hates it when you call them a nepo baby
Los Angeles, CA – Recent interviews with famous people who have benefitted from their familiar relations have gone sour as interviewers correctly described them as nepo babies. “I am not a …
Andrew Tate says “chances of him visiting Canada are zero” after learning nation frowns on indicted sex offenders
BUCHAREST, ROMANIA – Notorious manosphere influencer and indicted sex trafficker Andrew Tate announced on his podcast that he will never set foot in Canada, specifically after learning the …
World mourns simpler time when internet was just Chuck Norris memes
HOLLYWOOD, CA – Mourners worldwide are gathering to fondly remember a time when the internet was primarily used to share humorous memes about action star Chuck Norris, who also died today a…
Music festival fan regales friends about $700 show that sounds like worst experience possible
Osheaga, Quebec – Avid music festival goer Larry Rockton is in the middle of an epic story about an expensive music festival he went to recently that sounds like the worst experience a pers…
New Oscar category for “Best Cast” won by Bobby, who tried to climb the tube slide
Lunenburg, NS- In advance of the 2026 Oscars, the first-ever Academy Award for Best Cast has been won by Lunenburg Elementary second grader Bobby Smithers, earned after falling from the school’s …
Ben Mulroney accidentally shares video with fake footage of him being a respected media figure
TORONTO – Ben Mulroney, temporary host of Global News’ political affairs program The West Block and self-proclaimed “Not A Journalist,” recently accidentally shared a fake footage video of …
Heated Rivalry fans unfamiliar with concept hockey players might be gross
TORONTO – Fans of the smash hit romance show Heated Rivalry, many of whom have also become fans of hockey, are expressing confusion at the discovery that the overwhelming majority of real l…
