OTTAWA – As the U.S. greenback continues to tumble amidst growing uncertainty over the American debt crisis, the Canadian Tire dollar made incredibly strong gains this week, closing today a…
Business
School bully suspended: cafeteria sees strong third quarter gains
BARRIE, ON – A middle school cafeteria in Barrie is experiencing significant gains on a number of its food products following the suspension of notable sixth grade bully Reese “Kit Kat” Kot…
CEO calls it a day after long morning at work
CALGARY – Feeling the need to call it a day after a long morning of work, Global Oil Corp. CEO Marvin Bradley told his secretary to cancel his afternoon appointments. The tired CEO, who’s j…
Google buys U.S. government
MOUNTAIN VIEW, CA – Google Inc. has purchased U.S. Govt, a service which creates and passes laws. “We’re thrilled to welcome the U.S. Government to Google,” a Google spoke…
Men Without Hats announce 2011 reunion tour – this time with hats
MONTREAL – Ivan Doroschuk, lead singer for Canadian New Wavers Men Without Hats, announced that he will be re-forming the band for a 2011 tour, with one notable addition – this time with ha…
Businessman admits no one knows what ‘branding’ means
TORONTO – Last Thursday Roger Ho of Atelier Financial admitted that he had no idea what “branding” was, despite having used the term twenty-seven times in the last twenty-four hours. Ho als…
Black friend added to diversify Facebook friend list
EDMONTON, AB – Puplic relations employee Steve Wasley, 26, has made visible efforts to show his ability to connect with a variety of races and cultures by seeking out a black woman for his …
Business man in talks of merger with woman
TORONTO – Private equity firm employee Praj Patel, 31, is in merger talks with airline stewardess Aneesha Sherawat, 27, a woman. If successful, the deal could lead to a 60% increase in coha…
Local company offers nonsense approach to network solutions
MISSISSAUGA, ON – Logan-Mitchner Ltd., a local network solutions firm, has been receiving many complaints from businesses in the GTA since they initiated an unorthodox “nonsense” policy ear…
