MISSISSAUGA, ON – After receiving a deposit from a charity golf tournament, four Bank of Montreal employees found out the endorser had insufficient funds the hard way. Two tellers, a mortgage con…
Business
Job creators slam food critic for describing chocolate cake as ‘rich’
NEW YORK – Right-wing commentators have slammed New York Times food critic Shauna Campbell for a recent review in which she described a chocolate cake as ‘rich.’ Presidential Ca…
Keyword term “google” number one most searched item on Bing for 28th straight month
REDMOND, WA – Microsoft’s search engine Bing revealed its most searched items for the month of January, with the search phrase “google” coming in first a record 28th strai…
Harvey’s employee refuses to make burger Stephanie’s ‘stupid fucking’ way
BOWMANVILLE, ON – Long time Harvey’s employee Rick Mauran is facing an internal employment review, and possible disciplinary action, after he refused to make a burger to customer Stephanie Harris…
Unpaid intern quits for lucrative sweatshop position
SHENZHEN, CHINA – Amir Robinson, 24, quit his unpaid internship with a small Canadian television station last week for a much better paying position assembling wallets in an overseas sweats…
Mustachioed pediatrician doesn’t understand why business is slow
KAMLOOPS, BC – Longtime pediatrician Dr. Lester said he had “no idea” why parents had stopped bringing their kids to his children’s health centre, despite having recently …
Corporations to phase out environment in next 10 years
CALGARY – Several large corporations in Canada and the U.S. have announced plans to completely phase-out the environment by 2022 in order to focus on profits. “Performance reviews indicated…
Catholic Church rebrands Original Sin as ‘Sin Classic’
VATICAN CITY – Looking to renew interest in Catholicism among consumers aged 16-27, the Catholic Church announced yesterday that it would be rebranding its Original Sin to ‘Sin Classi…
Fourth grader quits school to set off for better life
KITCHENER, ON – Fed up with the 9-3 grind, fourth grader Tim Eldow has decided to call it quits and search for a better life. “The whole lifestyle just wasn’t doing it for me anymore,” the …
Pizza Pizza hires first Italian employee
Toronto, ON – Pizza Pizza, one of the largest pizza chains in North America, announced yesterday that, for the first time in the company’s 52 year history, it had hired an employee of Italian des…
