VATICAN CITY – Looking to renew interest in Catholicism among consumers aged 16-27, the Catholic Church announced yesterday that it would be rebranding its Original Sin to ‘Sin Classic.’
“The word ‘original’ fails to inspire. Maybe it worked in 1012 or even 12, but not 2012; times have changed,” said Father Felix Preen, Holy Archbishop of Marketing at the Vatican. “‘Classic’ reminds today’s Catholics of a simpler time, when all you had in life was a guilty soul. Sin Classic™ is something we all share.”
The rebranding follows a massive marketing failure, when five months ago the Church introduced the world to ‘The New Sin.’
“Sin Classic better communicates the inherited inclination toward sinfulness for the modern age. It’s the best Sin on the market for the last 6000 years,” Preen said.
“Man is no longer born with the guilt of Original Sin from the fall of Adam, instead, our souls now carry the refreshing burden of Sin Classic.”
Although the New Sin is gone, the Catholic Church will continue forgiving it’s line of specialty sins, including Sin Lite – formerly gluttony – and the popular Cherry Sin Before Marriage.
