WASHINGTON – In the wake of winning a Supreme Court ruling, US arts and crafts retailer Hobby Lobby has announced that all of their female employees will be required to wear Chastity belts …
New dating app “Tradr Datr” allows you to send out more attractive person on dates
TORONTO – The makers of “Personal Dating Assistant,” the site that offers its users consultants who manage your online dating profile for you, have developed a new app that allo…
Lady expert Peter MacKay explains how menstrual cycle affects judicial decisions
At a recent Ontario Bar Association Event, Justice Minister and renowned expert on women Peter MacKay explained the dangers of having a female judge make a ruling during her period. “I feel like …
How can Team Canada get into the next World Cup?
Canada has not made the World Cup since 1986. How can Team Canada make the next one? 1. Call it football – not soccer – like everybody else 2. Out-bribe the highest FIFA bidder 3. Wai…
Hero Cat appointed Bakersfield deputy sheriff
BAKERSFIELD, CA – The “Hero Cat” who saved a young boy from a vicious dog attack in Bakersfield, California has been appointed deputy sheriff of Bakersfield. “Tara” the cat, who…
Boston Bruins fans thank Donald Sterling for breaking the racist barrier
Inspired by Donald Sterling’s recent racist remarks, the hordes of disappointed and racist Boston Bruins fans took to twitter to voice their displeasure about the race of Montreal Canadiens overt…
BREAKING: The Beaverton has received a videotape of Rob Ford not smoking crack
TORONTO – In a shocking twist, The Beaverton has received an exclusive video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford not smoking crack cocaine, stumbling drunkenly, or shouting any ethnic slurs. In spite…
Oklahoma prisons to execute inmates using hot beef injection
OKLAHOMA – A special panel convened following a series of botched executions has announced today that Oklahoma prisons will be replacing the potent chemical cocktail previously used in leth…
Montrealers say they will still pass out drunk at 2:30 AM no matter what time the bars close
MONTREAL – In response to the City’s plan to keep bars open until 6 am, Montrealers have stated that they’re still going to black out before 3 am anyway. “We love to party here,”…
