SASKATOON – After years of contemplation on how to pay tribute to an iconic Canadian musician, the City of Saskatoon will honour Joni Mitchell with a 400 space parking lot. The Joni Mitchel…
Misinformed Canadian high school students remember Canada’s sacrifice on Vietnam beach
HALTON – A group of misinformed high school students are commemorating the contributions Canadian soldiers they didn’t actually make on the shores of a beach in Vietnam some seventy years a…
Andrea Horwath confirms she is not a Conservative, unless that would get your vote
TORONTO – At a press conference repudiating the NDP’s core principles on Tuesday, Andrea Horwath assured Ontarians that she is not a Progressive Conservative unless that’s what the voters w…
LaRonde apologizes for fingerprint admission, reverts back to feeling you up at admission gate
MONTREAL – Montreal’s amusement park LaRonde has issued an apology for breaking the Quebec’s privacy protocols by collecting visitors’ fingerprint data and will be returning to its policy o…
Nation unsure if container in fridge contains margarine or leftovers
CANADA – Millions of Canadians who opened their fridge today looking for the margarine were unsure if the round container they found enclosed actual margarine or leftovers from past meals. …
Tim Hudak offers one million jobs for one night with your wife
NIAGARA FALLS – Progressive Conservative leader Tim Hudak is willing to give one million jobs to you if he can spend one night with your wife. The salacious proposal was made while Hudak wa…
PEI Health opens inaugural ‘Anne of Green Gables’ abortion clinic
CHARLOTTETOWN – Honouring PEI’s most cherished fictional character, the province has named its first abortion clinic after Anne of Green Gables. Unbeknownst to many Canadians, the author of…
Northern Economic Development Agency creating jobs in remote region of downtown Ottawa
OTTAWA – The Canadian Northern Economic Development Agency revealed today new job numbers indicating that the Agency has been responsible for rapid job growth in the isolated region of down…
Update: Local man not coming out of toilet stall until the coast is clear
CHILLIWACK, BC – A local man is refusing to come out of a work toilet stall until all of his co-workers have vacated washroom. Andre Hamel, a software developer at HueSoft Ltd, has been hol…
Study: Coffee drinkers more likely to live longer lives, but die at a younger age
CAMBRIDGE, MA – A groundbreaking study from the Harvard School of Public Health revealed that coffee drinkers are more likely to live longer lives, but will die at a younger age. “We have r…
