São Paulo, BRAZIL – Brazilian football sensation Neymar suffered another setback yesterday after the forward injured his fourth vertebrae helping his father carry large bags of cash. Neymar…
Calgary Stampede hot dogs made from last year’s chuckwagon race losers
CALGARY – Spectators at this year’s Calgary Stampede can now enjoy a variety of hot dogs, sausages and hamburgers made entirely from the horses who lost last year’s chuckwagon races. “Many …
Iqaluit hoping massive dump fire will alert rest of nation to perpetual, massive dump fire
IQALUIT — As of earlier today, local officials were hoping that the city’s massive dump fire, which has been raging for more than six weeks now, will act as a distress signal alerting the federal…
Climate change denier drowns in flash flood
DELORAINE, MB – After a sudden torrential downpour that has inundated his community, a local climate change denier has been swept away by rushing waters and is presumed drowned. “It&#…
Recent English grad unsure about the apostrophe in ‘bachelor’s degree’
TORONTO – After earning her degree at the University of Toronto, English major Melany Peony was uncertain about the use of punctuation between the words “bachelor” and “degree.” The confusi…
Feds still deciding if Sea King replacement helicopter will include rotors
OTTAWA – Defence officials are still deciding if the helicopter selected to replace the aging Sea King will include the helicopter’s only source of lift. “The CH-148 Cyclone has been chosen…
Harper promises to consult Native, environment groups on pipeline after first oil spill
OTTAWA – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has pledged that he will consult all First Nations and environmental groups about the controversial Northern Gateway pipeline the moment after the fir…
Forest fire devastates millions of acres of good firewood
SAN DIEGO – As firefighters extinguished the last smoldering embers of an extensive forest fire, residents and industries were heartbroken about the loss of perfectly good firewood that the…
Hudak blames economists, math, unions, civil servants, the elderly, youth, middle class, the poor, Ontarians for defeat
TORONTO – Outgoing Ontario Progressive Conservative Leader Tim Hudak has faulted the resounding electoral defeat of his party on economists, math, unions, civil servants, the elderly, youth…
