OTTAWA – Peter MacKay will miss the annual Canadian Bar Association conference after insisting that he really needs to study for his upcoming LSAT examination. “I had barely enough time to …
August is Cause-Related Marketing Awareness Month
TORONTO – Corporations everywhere are reminding Canadians that they should be aware of all of the good cause-related marketing they have been doing lately. “We think it’s very important tha…
Artistic elephant paints vivid description of how he was forced to paint by zoo officials
BANGKOK – A three year old Asian elephant named Mai-Mai has created several abstract paintings portraying his abuse by zoo keepers who forced the gentle giant to paint to entertain tourists…
July 26, 1814: Heroic chocolatier Laura Secord defeats American forces with type 2 diabetes
QUEENSTON, UPPER CANADA – The prolonged American occupation of the Niagara Frontier ended last night after the majority of US troops withdrew thanks to the many sugar-rich, nutrient poor ch…
Feds drop Cancer Society’s charitable status after determining organization is politically biased against cancer
OTTAWA – The federal government has removed the Canadian Cancer Society’s charitable status after an CRA audit revealed the organization was conducting political activities with a strong pr…
Telus animals seized in exotic baby animal smuggling ring
VANCOUVER – Vancouver police and the BC SPCA have uncovered a sophisticated exotic baby animal smuggling ring and arrested several Telus marketing executives who are implicated. “Telus was …
Joe Oliver left alone in hot car for 3 hours
Police rescued Joe Oliver from a locked car this afternoon after staffers left the Canadian Finance Minister unattended for three hours. “I’d thought I would only be gone for 10 minutes max,” sai…
Canadian refugee illegally obtains what she calls ‘insulin’ so she won’t ‘die’
OTTAWA – A refugee who fled a war zone has been caught illegally obtaining what she calls a ‘life-saving medication’ for a condition called ‘diabetes’ so she won’t ‘die’. Shukriya Hanan, a …
Economic Action Plan signage most preferred insulation for homeless shanty towns
OTTAWA – After five years and more than $100 million of investments, advertisements for Canada’s Economic Action Plan have succeeded in becoming the material of choice when homeless Canadia…
