CALGARY – With news of the WestJet strike ending, Canadians are reportedly relieved that they won’t be forced to fly with the nation’s most terrifying airline: Air Canada.
The sense of dread caused by the prospect of having to fly Air Canada crept across the nation, following reports that WestJet had began to cancel flights rather than compensate attendants for their pre-flight work. Soon, millions of travellers feared the worst.
“There’s only like four or five airlines that fly within Canada at a given time, which means will unfortunately have to deal with the bogeyman that is Air Canada,” consumer advocate Liz Dumont told reporters. “We’ve just never had so many Canadians face the very real nightmare of having to do it all at once.”
Passengers who did have the misfortune of having to rebook their cancelled flight echoed this sentiment, saying how they won’t soon forget the terror of boarding an Air Canada aircraft.
“I just hope I never have to fly with them again,” one survivor told reporters, who was flying from Toronto to Montreal. “Not only did they lose my checked bag, but we just sat on the tarmac for like four hours… with the seatbelt sign on…”
While other travellers endured horrors such as surprise baggage fees at the gate or having to spend up to seven hours on hold with customer service, a small number managed to dodge the airline’s wrath when they had their Air Canada flights unexpectedly cancelled.
“I was dead worried I’d be another one of their victims,” one grateful passenger explained. “Then, out of nowhere, I got an email saying they cancelled my flight. And honestly? What a relief. Who knows what would’ve happened to me if I made it onto that plane?”
“Oh, also, I remembered Porter exists, and that worked out pretty smooth.”
In a related story, Prime Minister Carney’s planned press conference where he was looking forward to ordering the WestJet flight attendants back to work has been cancelled.
