OTTAWA – Local voter Martin Kofman finds it appalling that the Liberals have clearly hatched a plan to obtain the majority government voters denied them by luring Conservative MPs to cross the floor, and would be way more mad about it if it wasn’t so fun to image Poilievre’s face reacting to the news.
“The voters chose a minority government and expected the parties to work together, and I don’t think it’s right for Carney and his team to try to undermine that,” said Kofman. “But then I think of Poilievre’s stupid little face being told about one floor crossing after another and I giggle for about 10 minutes.”
“Do you think he got all red and angry? Maybe his voice got somehow more nasal? What if he cried? The possibilities are endless.”
Conservative MP Michael Ma announced he would be joining the Liberals just one day after attending the Conservatives’ Holiday Party and taking a photo with Poilievre, a detail pretty much everyone agrees makes the story even funnier.
“I just wish he’d whispered ‘I’m crossing the floor’ in Poilievre’s ear while the photo was being taken so we could have seen Poilievre’s heart break in real-time like Ralph Wiggum,” said Kofman.
Insiders speculate the Liberals are actively working to secure at least one more floor crosser from Conservative ranks, giving the party the majority government they have not had since 2019. This would simultaneously deny voters the chance to weigh in on Carney’s policies for 3 more years but gift them an increased chance of watching Poilievre lose the Conservative leadership review in January, so it’s kind of a trade off.
Kofman went on to acknowledge his concerns that a Carney Liberal majority could force through a Western pipeline without any environmental or Indigenous consultation, before dissolving back into giggles picturing Pierre Poilievre’s sad face becoming a popular reaction gif used to denote “whiny pouting” across the internet.
Reached for comment Poilievre acknowledged being frustrated by Ma’s decision, as he isn’t sure what more he could have done to make his MPs happier or more terrified.
