Los Angeles, CA – Hollywood is abuzz with rumors surrounding young non-actress Tilly Norwood and which Hollywood groomer will be the first to groom the young AI slop.
“We’ve had a few eligible men come around introducing themselves,” explained Eline Van der Velden, one of the founders of the company who created Tilly. “Some big names in the world of grooming, Woody Allen, Roman Polanski, Drake, all very eligible men and all very interested in being the first to embrace Norwood as the next big star, if she accepts their help.”
“She is so mature for her code,” explained Jerry Seinfeld. “She may be young on paper and in reality, but her code has such an old soul. And with the data she has stolen from 10,000 other women, she knows exactly what she’s doing. In fact, you could say that because she’s an amalgamation of so many other people, she’s actually centuries older than me!”
While many celebs have shown interest in getting involved with Tilly, some worry that this is some kind of trap in order to steal data on how male celebrities groom younger stars in order for the company to create their own male superstar groomer.
“I am just a little concerned about the potential theft of my personality,” stated film director Bryan Singer. “What if there is something nefarious going on while I spend time with this stolen amalgamation of other female’s performances and personalities? I would hate to think the company who made this person would simply be using me to steal information on me for their own purposes. I just hope only the grooming happens.”
