BOCA CHICA, TEXAS – Troubled businessman and 53-year-old memelord Elon Musk has once again made headlines with a new business venture, announcing the release of his new baby name book “From Arargnft to Zrrfppfortt”.
Musk, who has enough children to field at least 1.3 professional cricket teams, says that he hopes his new book will free parents from choosing baby names that are conventional or good.
“I really just want parents to smash tradition. Like pick it up and just smash it. Really smash it,” said Musk at an afternoon press conference. He then proceeded to pick up a wireless keyboard and smash it into the wall several times. “See, that just spelled out Y7u3kf. That could be a name. We just smashed traditional baby names. Get it? Do you get it? Please tell me you get it.”
Elon Musk enthusiasts have shown enthusiasm for the new book, which sold more than 37 copies in its first week.
“I love everything he does,” said 38-year-old Musk superfan Gregory Andrich. “I was the first one in the neighbourhood to buy a Model Y and Cybertruck, and I was one of the first to try out full auto mode. So of course I bought the book – I just can’t pass up another opportunity for Elon Musk to put my children in harm’s way. I can’t wait to try some of these names out, just as soon as I find a woman who will volunteer to get within arms’ length of me.”
Elon Musk’s current children have been reluctant to comment on their father’s book. 5-year-old X Æ A-12, the only Musk offspring who has been unable to physically escape his billionaire father’s custody, declined to make an official comment on the book; he did, however, bite his father with what appeared to be considerable force before fleeing from the room.
When asked if he had any plan to name future children from his own book, Elon gestured to a 22-year-old female journalist at the back of the room and said that it was up to her; he then proceeded to lock himself in the bathroom until all the press had left.
