PICKERING, ON – Budding philanthropist Krista Murphy inspired onlookers last week when she responded to Wikipedia’s call for donation not with apathy, but with a one-time contribution of the minimum listed amount ($2.75).
This act of selflessness and compassion came after Murphy visited the Wikipedia page for Shrek 3, looking to brush up on the film’s plot points. Once the donation was complete, word spread throughout the community.
“So many would just scroll by, but not Krista” says neighbor Ellen Schuyler. “She really cares about making a difference in the world, I guess by ensuring the online availability of early 2000s film summaries.”
“I can’t think of a more worthy cause,” says supporter Courtney Marino while shooing away a homeless person. “Her contributions to humanity will be her legacy.”
“Last night I went down a Wikipedia rabbit hole,” says friend Alan Li. “I started by reading about the history of sourdough bread and somehow ended up on a page with a list of the strangest ways that people have died. I was awake until 4AM! And I have Krista to thank for that.”
Murphy, who wears a habit decorated with Wikipedia’s globe logo, is no stranger to activism and charity work. She often changes her social media profile pictures in solidarity with the latest social justice issue and she once shared a Canva infographic about climate change on her Insta story. Last year, she made a $30 donation to the local humane society just so she could get the donor t-shirt.
However much like Mother Teresa herself, Murphy has faced criticism.
“She’s a fake and a phony!” says journalist Christopher Gonzalez. “My sources have shared that she didn’t even mean to donate to Wikipedia, she just accidentally clicked on ‘Payment Method’ and her Google Chrome extension already had the credit card info filled out. And it wasn’t even her credit card, it was her dad’s!”
While Saint Murphy, as she is now known, has not responded to this claim, she did share the following message of hope at a recent sermon:
“Not all of us can do great things. But I can, and I do.” She then played the Shrek theme song – Smash Mouth’s “I’m a Believer” – and exited the stage.
Saint Murphy is currently a contender for the Nobel Peace Prize. [citation needed]
