COVID vaccine gives hope to hundreds who love arguing about vaccines - The Beaverton
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COVID vaccine gives hope to hundreds who love arguing about vaccines

NATIONWIDE – With the current rollout beginning for the vaccine, many people across the country are excited about the chance to have bitter arguments about the safety and effectiveness of vaccination.

“As soon as I saw the news story on my accounts, and then comments after claiming the whole thing was a conspiracy started by Bill Gates to make a profit, I knew we were back in action,” said long-time science proponent Aid Wilkes of St. Johns. “I’ve drafted some scathing criticism to post, argued with myself in the mirror a few times, and already staked out a few clinics to fight people in front of.”

“2020 has been a rough year for vaccine debaters,” said anti-vaxxer turned anti-masker turned anti-vaxxer again Wayne Brody, of Calgary. “With the strain on healthcare systems making it hard for anyone to get any shots, fighting about them just seems pointless now. In a way, it’s a victory for our side, but not in the way we would’ve wanted.”

“I can’t wait to see what crazy nonsense the anti-vaccine crowd comes up with,” explained long time pro-vaccine advocate Lena Whedden of “Maybe they’ll start saying that the shots make you diabetic, or fill your bloodstream with tracking chips, or make you find Netflix’s Space Force funny!”

In order to prepare for the return of the vaccination debate, many across the country are petitioning their government to set up safe injection flamewar sites.