TORONTO – Ontario’s PC government is hiring an additional 200 OPP officers to force any unruly teachers back into classrooms.
“My friends, teacher unions are the greatest threat to the health of our students,” said Ontario Premier Doug Ford speaking at a press conference. “The OPP will be making round the clock patrols and working with community members to identify any at-risk teachers who express concern for their safety and the safety of their students.”
The new officers will be tasked with rounding up truant teachers and jamming them back into standard closet-sized classrooms where they will be forced to teach.
School safety officers will be placed in high schools in case a teacher “tries to do a runner” and a tactical team is on stand-by for any teachers who need to be extracted from their homes.
Any teachers caught playing hooky for their safety may be sentenced up to 10 years of hard Grade 7 labour or 10 beanings with a dodgeball.
Ford assured that the new officers will be fully funded thanks to cuts in school programs for disadvantaged children.
