National emergency declares national emergency - The Beaverton
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National emergency declares national emergency

WASHINGTON – In a move many legal experts are calling unprecedented, chronic national emergency Donald Trump is declaring a separate, second national emergency to get funding for his border wall with Mexico.

“It’s never been done before,” says Naomi Sellers, a constitutional law professor at Princeton University, “mostly because this is the first time a president has met the criteria for being a national emergency himself every single day of his presidency.”

“Even Nixon took time off to create the EPA.”

While many in the legal community believe Trump’s classification as a national emergency is a conflict of interest that should preclude him from declaring more national emergencies, there is a vocal minority who take the opposite position.

“Who better than a national emergency to spot other national emergencies?” says John Peterson, a researcher with a center-right think tank. “It’s like how Hannibal Lecter is so good at finding serial killers. Game recognize game.”

At press time, a symbolic UN resolution to declare Trump an out of control international emergency was withdrawn after a closed room session in which Russia demonstrated that he was actually very easy to control.

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