Two weeks into diet, popcorn ceiling looking a little too delicious - The Beaverton

Two weeks into diet, popcorn ceiling looking a little too delicious

RICHMOND HILL, ON – After a shaky start to her new year’s resolutions, a woman’s progress collapsed when her ceiling started to look devilishly tempting.

Helena Miller reportedly started a -only diet two weeks ago. However, Miller said it left her craving any kind of she could find. Her breaking point came when she caught a glimpse of her tantalizing popcorn ceiling as she lay in bed, and began to aggressively scrape it directly into her mouth.

During the vigorous ceiling scraping, Miller accidentally cut herself. While tending to her injury, Miller claimed she was ever so slightly considering a spoonful of the petroleum jelly. “It’s jelly so it’s technically not cheating,” Miller said. “And it doesn’t list the nutritional daily value, so it’s probably calorie free.”

The final incident occurred when Miller and her husband went out to a restaurant for dinner. Delirious from hunger, Miller walked into the ’s room. Later, her husband found her trying to cram as many cakes into her mouth as possible.

Post-recovery, Miller stated she is still optimistic that there is a diet out there that will for her. “ is right around the corner! Only 6 months away!” added Miller, in a panic. Her next dieting venture will be limited to consuming only vapours.