Toronto, ON – The Canadian Opera Company (COC) has just an announced it will be expanding its youth rates to under-65. The COC had expanded its youth rate to under 30s almost a decade ago. …
Tag: music
Classic Canadian indie rock albums ranked by how old it makes you feel to see them called ‘classic’
For many years Canada has been at the forefront of the indie rock scene. So much so that, without you noticing, many of the albums you consider modern, relevant examples of the country’s mu…
Swifties single-handedly preventing US recession
UNITED STATES – With the US leg of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour about to end, economists are haunted because they discovered the ultimate easter egg – that Swifties has been single-handed…
Pierre Poilievre vows to hold Trudeau accountable for Taylor Swift leaving Canada out of tour dates
OTTAWA – After Canadians were left devastated yesterday to learn that Taylor Swift’s massively anticipated Eras international tour wouldn’t be making any stops in Canada, Conservative leade…
Jack Black’s ‘Peaches’ triggers a generation’s sexual awakening
Orangeville, ON – An entire generation is reveling in its sexual awakening, thanks to Jack Black’s wet, hot hit, “Peaches” from the Super Mario Bros. Movie. In the film, Black plays Bowser, a Koo…
Breaking: Your grieving mother definitely slept with Gordon Lightfoot
Leamington, ON – Your mother has been sitting silently on her porch running her fingers through the fabric of an old summer dress and listening to “Gord’s Gold” on repeat all week and, oh God, oh…
Ticketmaster to levy service charge for concerts you don’t attend
BEVERLY HILLS, CA — Ticketmaster, a division of Live Nation Entertainment, has announced a new service charge for concerts their users don’t attend or even know about. “We’ve been adding more and…
“Controversies” section on Kanye West’s Wikipedia page eclipses “Music” section
AUSTIN – After Ye, formerly known as Kayne West, made a wide variety of antisemitic comments on Alex Jones’ Infowars broadcast, the rapper’s Wikipedia page now dedicates more space to his controv…
Slide-whistle virtuoso longs to play Rachmaninoff instead of accompanying prank videos
TORONTO — Martin Peck, the world’s foremost slide-whistle virtuoso, expressed his frustration at only being hired to accompany prank videos. “The slide-whistle is my instrument and my art,” Peck …
Spotify Premium now lets users remove a musician’s dinner from their stomach
STOCKHOLM — Spotify founder and CEO Daniel Ek called a press conference today to announce a new feature of the music streaming site’s premium subscription tier, namely the option for users to rem…