Study: Millions of handshakes between women go unreported every year

OTTAWA – Although millions of meet each other and/or confirm important agreements every year, a new study reveals that their handshakes go largely undocumented.

Among the women whose handshakes have been overlooked are several high-profile women in politics such as Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Elizabeth Warren, Sally Yates and Angela Merkel. As their handshakes have never been witnessed by the human eye, there are no in-depth reports on file. While it is standard practice for the media to perform complex analyses of men touching hand skin together in mahogany rooms, women in power have been shaking hands in quiet isolation for centuries.

“There is evidence of one unprecedented 5-person handshake between Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Malala Yousafzai, bell hooks, and Beyoncé holding a vial of Simone de Beauvoir’s ashes,” cites a lead researcher. “A janitor had finished his shift, but returned to empty a forgotten wastebasket of old tissues when he witnessed the historic handshake.” Unfortunately the moment was not captured on film.

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