HALIFAX – This morning, local man, Robert Murray was shocked to discover he had mistakenly neglected to watch Hollywood’s biggest event last night because, fuck it.
“Oh, I guess I did”, remarked Murray, adding, “I just hope Seth MacFarlane did a good job as host.”
Instead of watching the two and a half hour extravaganza, Mr. Murray spent his night with old friends, laughing, drinking and in general, living life to its fullest.
Despite this, analysts are still going over the data to determine if Mr. Murray’s would have been happier had he stayed home and watched Hacksaw Ridge win for Best Sound Mixing.
“So did La La Land win Best Picture? Hashtag, Oscars so white.” Murray joked, not caring at all about the fact that Moonlight had won the award.
“Yeah, I think I saw one of the movies nominated. It was this cool sci-fi thing about a cyborg lady. Pretty bad ass. I hope it won something.” It had not since he was talking about Ex Machina, last year’s winner for best make up.
At press time Mr. Murray was spending less than ten seconds reading the list of winners and losers online.
