OTTAWA – Canada’s transcontinental highway will get a name change after several Conservative MPs and Senators expressed discomfort with the current name.
The Conservative caucus accused the name of being part of the longstanding LGBTQ agenda which is forced down the throats of Canadian families every time they drive.
“There are tens of thousands of signs that say ‘Trans’ on them,” explained Conservative Senator Don Plett. “This is simply liberal propaganda corrupting everyone’s mind. We need a new name that reflects real Canadian values that are as straight as a drive through Saskatchewan.”
Other Conservatives were worried about how the 8,030 km stretch of highway with many interchanges were damaging the minds of the very young.
“An eastbound driver can’t wake up one day and decide that they’re suddenly a westbound driver,” said Conservative MP Rob Anders. “Children need to be protected from drivers who think it’s okay to go both ways.”
In addition to the name change, the government announced the construction of a new roadside washroom where Rob Anders will personally check every patron’s genitals to verify they’re in the right washroom.
