Parents throw jerseys onto ice frustrated with struggling Timbits hockey team - The Beaverton

Parents throw jerseys onto ice frustrated with struggling Timbits hockey team

PARRY SOUND – A struggling amateur hockey team for five and six year-olds has been dealt another blow after their disillusioned parents began throwing their Timbits fan jerseys onto the ice.

The incident began after the Parry Sound Pirates lost their fourth consecutive game to the Huntsville Tigers by a humiliating 12-1 score.

“Why did I buy all of this expensive hockey equipment if you’re just going to lose all of the time, Daniel?” heckled one parent to his son after tossing the red and black striped jersey over the boards. “Timbits hockey is all about winning; don’t you remember!”

“Way to stay on your skates, Mark!” yelled another parent with a passive-aggressive tone tossing another unwanted jersey. “Next time, maybe you shouldn’t score on your own net!”

Parents blame the team’s poor performance on a lack of on-ice leadership and a new cohort of five year-olds with no concept of fore-checking or sense of balance on skates.

“We have two, maybe three kids who can shuffle the puck forward in the general direction of the net,” explained Cheryl Beattie, parent of six year-old right-wing Billy. “But the rest of the team is dead-weight. The Jones’ kid in net can barely move and leaves the net wide open, while the breakout strategy consists of the players piling on top of each other to see where the puck went.”

At press time, parents were trying to trade five underperforming players in exchange for decent defenceman on another team.