New Glasgow, NS – Justice Minister Peter MacKay faced a “surprisingly difficult and uncomfortable” line of questioning concerning the Canadian legal system while visiting Mrs. MacDonald’s grade five class at G R Saunders Elementary School on Monday.
“Why did you say Justin Trudeau broke the law when he admitted to smoking marijuana, when technically within the current Canadian legal system possession is against the law and not the actual act of smoking?” asked a nervous twelve-year-old Timmy McGregor reading from a note allegedly prepared by his seventeen-year-old brother Johnny ‘Zig-Zag’ McGregor.
“I’ve been perfectly clear, within my current understanding of the Canadian legal thingy if you are a sitting MP and you smoke marijuana it is in fact against the law. Whereas if you are a regular Canadian citizen it is not. At least that’s what I think, and hey I’m just the Justice Minister,” responded an indignant MacKay.
“What do you like best about being Justice Minister?” asked an inquisitive Sandra McMillan.
“The law is important because I get to determine who should be punished and who should not. I now have a greater role to play in that decision making, so my friends no longer have anything to worry about. That’s because I can work legal magic and figure out how to make, say election fraud, a minor crime and only a ticketable offence,” responded a self assured MacKay.
“What’s your favorite Canadian law?” asked a timid Jeffrey MacBain in the first row.
“The new one I’m writing that will make smoking marijuana an illegal offence that can be prosecuted retroactively,” quipped MacKay.
“Was it cool to ride a military helicopter home from your fishing trip with friends?” asked a wide eyed and impressed Pat McNeil.
“Well, for the record let me be clear, it was a search and rescue helicopter and I was on a search and rescue demonstration not flying the helicopter back home,” said MacKay boring the children with his tired talking points, before adding, “but off the record Pat, a helicopter came from the sky and picked me up in front of my buddies just because I said I wanted it to. Cool is an understatement.”
