TORONTO – As the Toronto Blue Jays play the 2023 season’s first home games, fans are enjoying several offseason additions to the Rogers Centre, including a new bullpen bar, a large family play ar…
Tag: Toronto Blue Jays
No one at Blue Jays game wants to be there
TORONTO – After arriving at the Rogers Centre for yet another grinder of a baseball game, sources report that literally no one attending the Blue Jays game today- including players, staff,…
Jays end post-season with pop, pizza party in Rogers Centre basement
TORONTO – After a disappointing loss against the Cleveland Indians, this afternoon the Toronto Blue Jays capped off their post-season with a modest pizza party in the basement of the Rogers…
Baseball announcer refuses to use the offensive term “Cleveland”
CLEVELAND – MLB announcer Jerry Howarth will be refusing to call the Blue Jay’s ALCS opponents by their city’s name as some find the word “Cleveland” to be downright offensive. “I have stop…
Blue Jays conspiracy theorists cling to “second thrower” theory
TORONTO – With police claiming to have identified the man who threw a beer can onto the field during Tuesday’s wild-card game, a vocal subset of fans insist there was an unidentified “secon…
Rogers offers new ‘re-sign Encarnacion and Bautista’ bundle
TORONTO – Rogers Media, the corporate owner of the Toronto Blue Jays, is now offering its customers a new TV, internet, and phone bundle to ensure free agents Jose Bautista and Edwin Encarn…
Bandwagon fan proudly brings Jays gear to Raptors game
TORONTO – Local man Joseph Dorn, who regularly and loudly proclaims that he “lives and bleeds Toronto sports” has accidentally worn his Jose Bautista jersey and several other baseball-relat…
‘Hockey Night’ experience gives Rogers courage to ruin Blue Jays
TORONTO – Having successfully rebranded Hockey Night in Canada from a beloved cultural institution into an unwatchable orgy of corporate synergy, Rogers Communications says it’s finally ready to …
Anthopolous rejects Rogers contract after realizing it only comes with 150 long distance minutes
TORONTO – The Blue Jays have announced the departure of General Manager Alex Anthopolous due to a contract dispute in which Rogers was only able to promise him 150 long distance minutes. “A…
Conservatives unveil last minute attack ad accusing Justin of supporting Kansas City
TORONTO – In a last minute gamble for GTA seats, the Conservative Party unveiled a new attack ad over the weekend suggesting Liberal leader Justin Trudeau wanted the Kansas City Royals to d…