CALGARY – After several long discussions with his top aides, Stephen Harper has decided to resign from political life so he can focus on taking care of the egg sac filled with his unborn br…
Tag: Stephen Harper
Shirtless Stephen Harper photobombs Calgary couple’s wedding, 5 dead
CALGARY – Tragedy struck a Calgary wedding yesterday evening when five people were killed and a dozen injured after former prime minister Stephen Harper decided to make a candid, topless ap…
Reconciliation: Trudeau shares 30 seconds of intense eye contact with every First Nations person
OTTAWA – After nearly 150 years of colonialism and cultural genocide, Canada is mending fences by granting every First Nations person in the country 30 seconds of intimate eye-contact with …
Liberals replace Black Hand Jones and Scarnose, among other Harper-era ambassadors
OTTAWA – The Liberal government and Foreign Affairs Minister Stéphane Dion have appointed several new ambassadors this week, replacing Grimguts McGree, Black Hand Jones, and other controver…
Harper delivers heartfelt, heavily redacted resignation speech
OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced he was bowing out of politics today in a sincere, and vigorously redacted, speech to the House of Commons. “I hope that my tenure as …
Trudeau’s attempt to start Parliamentary Fight Club backfires
OTTAWA – Justin Trudeau admitted this morning that yesterday’s effort to finally get the House of Commons Fight Club started was a poor choice on his part. “I just thought that at the end o…
Tories slam Liberal budget’s reckless acknowledgement of First Nations, veterans
OTTAWA – Conservative Party leaders had harsh words for the federal budget tabled by Finance Minister Bill Morneau yesterday, blasting the Liberal government for its “irresponsible” acknowledgeme…
Stephen Harper watches Obama-Trudeau state dinner on TV at Denny’s
CALGARY – Stephen Harper, Canada’s 22nd Prime Minister, was spotted at a half-empty local Denny’s Thursday evening, eating alone and watching live footage of the Obama-Trudeau state dinner. “He c…
Stephen Harper found chained to police station by caped vigilante David Suzuki
OTTAWA – Former Prime Minister and maniacal rejecter of the Kyoto Protocol Stephen Harper has kept a low profile since October, but was found early this morning chained to a police station …
MPs line up to sit on Supreme Court Justices’ laps to ask what laws they want struck down for Christmas
OTTAWA — In a tradition that is as old as Ottawa, 338 excited MPs lined up at the Supreme Court to ask the justices what laws they want struck down or amended for Christmas. Dressed in thei…