MISSISSAUGA, ON – Running a shocking 35 minutes behind on his morning routine Bill Benson, 29, had nevertheless found time to prioritize what’s important in his life: checking in on social …
Tag: Social Media
Girlfriend’s relative thinks they can add you on Facebook just like that
HOME – In an act of what can only be described as massive presumption, Sheila de Souza, 53, a person that your girlfriend has confirmed is a member of her family, has sent you a friend requ…
9 proven ways to quit social media that you won’t even try you pathetic little addict
Social media can take over people’s lives and has been proven to have negative effects on mental health, self-esteem and sleep habits, so clearly it’s time to quit. You know this to be true in th…
Facebook’s ‘On This Day’ painful reminder that you used the word “wangster” in undergrad
LONDON, ON – Sources report that your Facebook “memories” have revealed that you used the word “wangster” in undergrad while commenting on a picture of your friend Todd who was holding a jo…
Liberals attribute Canada’s GDP growth to Justin Trudeau’s side hustle as a social media influencer
Watch this exclusive clip from The Beaverton.…
Wow! These laid off coal miners have retrained as social media influencers
Move over Trump! You’re not the only one bringing jobs back to coal miners. Once so-called victims of today’s highly automated economy, these seventeen former employees of Teck Resources Ltd. hav…
‘I’m a pretty big deal on Twitter’ reports total knob
HALIFAX – Multiple sources have overheard Mark Griggs, who has recently been diagnosed as a complete and total douche, informing a tinder date that he is a very big deal on Twitter. “The gr…
Popular girl you thought would peak in high school reportedly still killin’ it
CASTOR, AB – Reports early this afternoon have indicated that the popular, intelligent, and beloved girl you thought would reach her social peak in high school is still absolutely killing i…
Content creator really loves creating content
TORONTO – Social media ingénue, Grace Codrington, says she creates content not for fame or money, but simply because she loves doing so. “I live and breathe content creation,” Codrington sa…
Tim Hortons launches answer to Unicorn Frappuccino: a cup of neon paint
OAKVILLE, ON – Releasing it hot on the heels of Starbucks’ multi-coloured Unicorn Frappuccino, Tim Hortons has announced its own Instagram-ready drink: a cup filled with neon paint. T…
