OTTAWA – Officials at Carleton University held a press conference today, announcing their discovery that the long-thought-completed NHL playoffs are, in fact, ongoing. Graduate student Jaso…
Tag: playoffs
Hockey fans mourn loss of their only joke
TORONTO – The hockey community is devastated at the loss of their only joke with the Toronto Maple Leafs having advanced out of the NHL’s first round of playoffs for the first time since 20…
Lightning devastated to learn Refs can work against them too
Tampa Bay, FL – In the wake of Nazem Kadri’s game winning goal for the Avalanche in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup finals being allowed despite the Avs having too many men on the ice, Tamp…
NHL refs congratulate NBA counterpart for screwing over Toronto team “even better than we do”
TORONTO – In the wake of the Toronto Raptors second straight loss to the Philadelphia 76ers the NHL referees association has congratulated NBA officiating for screwing over the Toronto base…
Sheer possibility of Toronto being only Canadian team to make NHL playoffs enough to send Alberta man into rage
EDMONTON – Overhearing a sportscaster mention that the Toronto Maple Leafs could be the only Canadian team to make the playoffs this year has sent local man Dave Kilmartin into a full blown…
Exasperated nerds threaten to talk about history of Suriname until hockey fans shut up
OTTAWA ― With the Stanley Cup Finals underway, the Canadian Civil Organization of Nerds (CanCON) has warned that the usual non-stop talk about the NHL will be met with swift retaliation this year…
Leafs bring comfort and normalcy during tough times by collapsing in playoffs
TORONTO – Seeking to restore a bit of familiarity to hockey fans living in such uncertain times The Toronto Maple Leafs are upholding their long-standing tradition of just shitting the bed …
‘Maybe this is the year the Leafs beat Boston,’ says delusional idiot who doesn’t know shit
TORONTO – Local man Dennis Hendricks believes this could be the year the Leafs finally end their playoff losing streak against the Boston Bruins, mostly because he’s a dumb fuck who says du…
Sens shipping in fans from other teams to fill vacant seats
OTTAWA – After the team’s poorly attended playoffs series against the New York Rangers, the GM of the Ottawa Senators will be bussing in fans of other teams to fill seats in the Canadian T…
