Mother's Day Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: Mother’s Day

Queen ant gets 27,000 cards for Mother’s Day

BRANTFORD, ON – The queen of a local ant colony awoke on Mother’s Day to find herself bombarded with thousands upon thousands of cards from her children. “Thank you, Anthony, that’s very sweet,” …

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Report: Oh fuck, Mother’s Day!

OTTAWA—Scientists released a report today indicating that shit! It’s Mother’s Day! Fuck, what time is it? Authors of the report further stated that goddamn it, Mom’s probably already in bed by no…

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Local Mother’s Day ruined by Freudian Slip

SASKATOON, SK – Witnesses report that local businessman, Jared Rice, has made Mother’s Day intolerably awkward for everyone around him after he accidentally introduced his mother, Ruth, as …

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