Mother's Day Archives - The Beaverton

Tag: Mother’s Day

Queen ant gets 27,000 cards for Mother’s Day

BRANTFORD, ON – The queen of a local ant colony awoke on Mother’s Day to find herself bombarded with thousands upon thousands of cards from her children. “Thank you, Anthony, that’s very sweet,” …


Report: Oh fuck, Mother’s Day!

OTTAWA—Scientists released a report today indicating that shit! It’s Mother’s Day! Fuck, what time is it? Authors of the report further stated that goddamn it, Mom’s probably already in bed by no…


Local Mother’s Day ruined by Freudian Slip

SASKATOON, SK – Witnesses report that local businessman, Jared Rice, has made Mother’s Day intolerably awkward for everyone around him after he accidentally introduced his mother, Ruth, as …