BLUE JAY WAY, TORONTO – In a misguided effort to impress someone, Sigma Chi president and Rogers Centre roof operator Andrew “Smitty-boy” Smith is claiming he can open the stadium roof with his t…
Tag: MLB
MLB owners, players finally work out deal after remembering how much game means to the day drinking community
NEW YORK CITY – After months of negotiations, Major League Baseball players and owners ratified a collective bargaining agreement to save the 2022 season after remembering how much the spor…
You’ll never believe what Rogers is going to replace the SkyDome with and yeah you’re right it’s condos
TORONTO – Big news! You are going to be stunned when you hear what Rogers is planning to do with some of the land where the world-famous SkyDome stands. This is a total shock but it turns o…
Buffalo welcomes Jays with ballpark renovations that include robotic fan chucking beer cans onto the field
BUFFALO – In an attempt to welcome the Toronto Blue Jays into their 2020 home, Buffalo’s Sahlen Field has added a number of details to make the Blue Jays feel like they are playing at the R…
Rookie MLB player achieves dream of playing in front of 45,000 empty seats
NEW YORK – Yankees rookie Chris Buford realised a lifelong dream yesterday after stepping onto the field in front of more than 45,000 empty plastic seats in his MLB debut. “It’s incredible,…
Blue Jays offer to change name to something racist in order to find new home in U.S.
Anywhere but TORONTO – After the Toronto Blue Jays have been barred from playing in their home city and rejected by Pittsburgh, the desperate team has stated they are willing to change thei…
Canada bans Blue Jays due to COVID, sucking
TORONTO – The federal government has announced that the Toronto Blue Jays will not be able to play home games in Toronto this year due to the COVID pandemic, and the fact that the team was …
Saskatchewan man keeps reminding people that CFL season was postponed too
REGINA – Amidst conversations about the NHL, NBA and MLB seasons possibly resuming soon, local man Gord Marsh is reminding people that the CFL season was also postponed as a result of COVID…
Jays end post-season with pop, pizza party in Rogers Centre basement
TORONTO – After a disappointing loss against the Cleveland Indians, this afternoon the Toronto Blue Jays capped off their post-season with a modest pizza party in the basement of the Rogers…
Baseball announcer refuses to use the offensive term “Cleveland”
CLEVELAND – MLB announcer Jerry Howarth will be refusing to call the Blue Jay’s ALCS opponents by their city’s name as some find the word “Cleveland” to be downright offensive. “I have stop…