TORONTO – Marie Klein, 22, found herself unwittingly calling forth a devil from the deepest Hells while going about her usual self-confidence building ritual. On the advice of a self-help b…
Tag: Hell
Donald Rumsfeld to finally get chance to confront Saddam Hussein
THE AFTERLIFE – Former U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, who died today at the age of 88, will reportedly get his long-awaited chance to confront deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein…
Rush Limbaugh slams Satan for his liberal bias
ETERNAL FLAMING REALM OF HELL – Having recently passed away from lung cancer, Rush Limbaugh, upon arriving in Satan’s land of eternal punishment, immediately lambasted the Prince of D…
Court rules that mansion’s portal to hell not valid reason for buyer backing out of real estate deal
VANCOUVER – A BC court has ruled that nondisclosure of the existence of a portal to hell on a property does not entitle the purchaser to a refund of their deposit if they chose to terminate…
Pope denounces inhumane death penalty in favour of endless demonic torture
VATICAN CITY – Changing the Catholic Church’s position on capital punishment, Pope Francis has denounced the death penalty as inhumane and unacceptable in all cases, recommending instead ev…
Satan confused after some enjoy his cruel act of raisins in cookies
HELL – The devil has expressed frustration and confusion at the fact that some of humanity has appeared to like raisins in cookies, what he considers to be one of his most depraved acts of …
Harper signs trade agreement with Fourth Circle of Hell
HELL – Prime Minister Stephen Harper has signed a landmark trade agreement between Canada and Hell’s layer reserved for greedy, hoarding souls. The agreement was signed by Harper and Hell’s…